Redefining Happiness
In my curiosity to understand what happiness is and what understanding people are holding about happiness, I decided to interview a bunch of people who I believed would offer some clarity so I started with the eldest member of the family, my grandmother.
Me: Grandma, what’s happiness?
Grandma: Happiness is my family.
Me: Wowww, So you are happy, right?
Grandma: I am kinda happy. Kinda happy? Does my grandmother know slang? Never mind. I asked her, what do you mean by kinda? She replied with an innocent face you see I am diabetic and I cannot eat Gulab Jamun (For those who don’t know, it’s an Indian dessert with loads of sugar). If I get to eat one today, I’ll be extremely happy.
While saying Gulab Jamun, I could see the glow in her eyes, radiance on her face, and in my head, I was like Aewwww, Gulab Jamun is so sticky. Why and how do people eat it? But that’s not the point that was intriguing me. What surprised me is, one Gulab Jamun smaller than an egg is enough to be happy, really? God, you are so merciful. You’ve made happiness so inexpensive.
I then moved to my father who’s always been my hero presuming he’ll also mention some cusine.
Me: Dad, what’s happiness? What makes you happy?
Dad: I am busy, I’ll talk to you later.
Me: Dad just 2 mins, please.
Dad: If I get the promotion that I am striving for I’ll be very happy but that’s possible only when you let me work. So please excuse me.
Perplexed, I left his home office. Damn, he confused me even more. One promotion and he’ll be happy for the rest of his life. So, he is busy only until he gets promoted and then he’ll have all the time for me. Sounds so cool, isn’t it?
I then went to my first friend, my only best friend, my Mom.
Me: Mom, what makes you happy?
Mom: If you want to eat something special for lunch you can tell me directly. You don’t have to try to make me happy.
Me: No Mom, I really wanna know what makes you happy and after a lot of insistence, she said, “My happiness is U.” When you score great at university, I am happy. When you help me with household chores, I am happy. I’ll be happy when you get married and very promptly I asked, what about the times when I don’t meet your expectations and then there was this dead silence which meant I am not happy when you don’t. In other words, I am happy at times and at other times I am not. So happiness comes and goes, it is not permanent is what all my family members were trying to say?
The more I was trying to understand happiness the more I was getting bewildered.
I checked with my friends and extended family and got a variety of answers like, If I get the latest iPhone I’ll be happy, If I expand my house, I’ll be happy, and many more. Some answers were extreme like If there’s fog tomorrow morning, I’ll get a chance to go to work late, and then I’ll be happy. I felt so strange still I tried all of these and I did experience happiness but only momentary.
Now I was at a point wherein I realized that all the definitions that people gave me were inaccurate, for me at least. After a long and intense study, my mental fog started to clear off and I could differentiate between pleasure and happiness. New phones, vacations, cars, etc. bring in pleasure, not happiness.
So the next question that arises here is what is happiness then?
To my best understanding, happiness is a state of mind. It has nothing to do with the external factors in fact it has nothing to do with anything and anyone except U. Stop looking for it in your family, friends, work, and everything else around you because it’s only in U. You don’t need a reason to be happy. Nature has created humans with happiness as a core element. Over the period of time, community and situations have programmed us to be happy at times instead of all the time but the good news is we can always reprogram ourselves.
That day, I realized happiness is ME and I don’t need a reason to be happy and I promise, this tiny clarification simplified my life largely and I hope it will be an eye-opener for most of you, as well.
At this moment, tell yourself “ I am happy, and reiterate it you yourself multiple times a day, and observe the shift in yourself. Join the 7-day challenge wherein we transform our ideology of happiness and spread more of it. All those who are in for it, please comment in the chatbox. Looking forward to an enthusiastic audience!
