CAP-LOCK for shouting? A writer’s dilemna
The writer’s community on Twitter can be a lovely place, but often it can be a slumbering beast.
Nothing seems to wake it more than a question on grammar.
The problem
Okay — I’ve got a key scene I’ve written. Melody has come up against an authority figure on the Lunar colony. There’s a lot going on, but Melody is doing her best to deal with a pretty unfair situation.
Because of this clash, some officials came to her apartment, and replaced all her clothes and issued blue uniforms with two orange overalls. Melody chalks this down to being a bad fashion month, but on her first day she notices how much venom people are casting her way.
When she returns home though, her mother has worked out Melody is in serious trouble.
Melody’s mother loves her. They have some lovely scenes together in the first book, but when they clash, it can get bad. Mum is more of the disciplinarian.
In the scene, I need Melody’s mother to absolutely feel she’s on the point of losing it with her daughter. To me, it feels one of the most important scenes in the book. Melody really needs her mother’s support, but Mum is initially going to side with authority. It’s not helped that Melody isn’t perfect and will admit she did some bratty things in Book 1.
Why Melody’s mum reacts this way will pave the way for a later scene, which is another pivotal part of the book, where a lot of uncomfortable revelations will come out. How this particular scene plays out will also feed into what happens in the next chapter — which will set up a lot of material in this book.
There is a lot resting on this scene! I already know it’s one of those parts where I’ll be making a dozen edits and nudges, and still won’t be quite happy with it.
But my problem is this. Melody’s Mum will reveal to her that she knows she’s broken the law. When she screams at her, “what did you do Melody? What did you do?” I need it to have shock value.
I’m really tempted to us BLOCK CAPITALS in that piece of dialogue. The problem is I also know it’s a bit of a no-no in grammar terms. I used it for one line in the original Melody Harpers Moon. I even had Melody partly break the fourth wall as she explained her use of it …
At times like this, it’s good to call on my peers for their opinion …
The Tweet and your replies …
For a lot of people it’s a no-no, and why I’m having trouble with this …
But a lot of encouragement to do it, but watch myself for repeat offending …
I really like Amy’s point though …
What I’m actually going to do is quite simple, and thanks Amy for the idea — I’m going to write it out three ways. Once with no caps, twice with caps, and thirdly with caps, but much less than option 2.
Option 1 — No caps
Option 2 — Liberal Caps
Option 3 — Sparing Caps
Opinion?
I’m looking at them all, and I think at the end of the day, I do prefer option 2, use of capitals. This should be the only time I use it all book, so I’m not going to do it all the time. But I do like how dramatic it looks — it just feels right, although everything in my head is saying I shouldn’t.
In the end, I think I have to go with my gut!
