How your dating experience can help you with interviewing!
During high school and the years to follow, I was one of those guys always looking for love. And with that, I was always ready to move fast and get to that “I love you” stage as quickly as possible. Fortunately, I learned over time it wasn’t about the speed of getting to the “I love you stage”, it was about understanding each other's pace for getting there together.
Recruiting continually gives me the chance to view a lot of behaviors that take place during the interview process, most of which remind me of those in the dating process.
From building your resume (online dating profile) into the interviewing (dating) phases with hopes and dreams of making it to the elusive offer stage and being exclusive…Here is a look at the stages of finding your next work partner and how we can use our dating experience to help!
Building a profile
The overall goals of both resumes and dating profiles are showing our strengths while shying away from any weaknesses. Filling your profile with everything you can think of will give less visibility to what you are really good at, and enjoy doing. Focus on the key elements of what you excel in while incorporating what interest you have beyond your strength.
The search!
Like dating, interviewing is bi-directional. Although most of us need to work, we all want to work somewhere we’re happy. So, when able, continually define what makes you happy in the career you’ve chosen. This could be who you work for, who you work with, or simply the location or product you work on. Utilize this information to drive your search. It’s okay to pass on an opportunity if it puts you into a position where the boxes aren’t being checked! If you have deal breakers in dating, make sure you also define those in your career partners. This all leads to what I call your mission alignment.
The first date!
The first date can be nerve-wracking and completely paralyzing to many people. Even being in recruiting for 10+ years I still get the butterflies before a big interview. There are amazing stories of “It was love at first sight”, and “I knew it from the first time we spoke”. As someone who has experienced that, I hope you all get to as well!
A successful first date doesn’t always mean that you are going to date that person. Sometimes finding out you are not a match on the first date saves time and heartache. Be authentic, take the time to identify what matters for you to be happy. If you have an interest in the opportunity, do a little research to articulate why; people like feeling special.
The Interviewing stages
In dating, we all know the people who are ready to commit in 1 week and those who are always dating and take months to decide. Companies’ timing and speed through the process are also very similar. Some companies have the bandwidth and the size to move quick and fast, getting candidates hired in 1-week form the initial conversation. Others, yes Google, I am talking about you, have a 6-month process. The joke still remains in recruiting “what month are you in?”.
The reality is, many things cause delays, from other hiring priorities, change in budget, a shift in allocations, promotions, transfers. I can promise you as a recruiter we do not enjoy the delays and bumps that can arise. We would love nothing more than to make hires every day!
What this leads to is a miss-alignment of timing and forces one side to press harder than the other to be exclusive. Emotions get involved and things get messy and one side can feel offended, disrespected, and even forgotten.
I have forgotten to get back to candidates many times unfortunately, I have also many times reached out to apologize knowing it might not have a huge impact, but I recognize I should have been better. It generally ends up being well received and people have more empathy than you give them credit for.
Okay, so you have been dating and it happens…the offer!
Picture yourself, in love, so ready to commit to this wonderful person that has come into your life, and you finally muster up the courage after wining and dining to ask the big question:
“Will you be my baby?” And the response… “Awww thank you so much, and I totally am interested, but I have a few other dates this week, is it ok if I go on those and then get back to you?”
Turns out, this is an everyday thing in the workplace, but I assure you the moment you share that you “need time because you are talking to other companies,” you just made them feel like the immediate backup, just like dating! As long as in the beginning and through the process, you can be open with your intentions, it allows even us recruiters the chance to save our excitement knowing you are waiting to hear from others regardless of a proposal.
The breakups
It wouldn’t be right if we didn’t talk about the breakups along the way…
How many of us have found ourselves saying this?
“I was never called back”
“They didn’t even tell me what I did wrong”
“After all that time I spent, I just got an email saying, thanks, but no thanks!”
And as a recruiter, I might have said or heard these a time or two…
“They never even showed up to the interview, and now they won’t answer”
“So they fit the requirements, things went well, but they aren’t a fit for the team?”
“Loved that candidate! Who else do we have in the pipeline?”
Breakups can happen and they can also be rough, the silver lining is turning those into a stronger mission alignment moving forward.
At Fractal Talent Labs, we strive to create an authentic and relationship-driven process centered around identifying your mission alignment and how that aligns with our teams!
If you are looking or just interested in hearing more about our process and identifying your mission alignment, please feel free to reach out!
