‘A’ Train Derails in Harlem

But you will still use the MTA and like it

The Development

Multiple people were injured but there were no serious casualties as a Southbound ‘A’ train derailed between 135th and 125th Street in Harlem at around 10 AM yesterday. You can find more information on the story here.

The Analysis

This is not the first time this month that there were issues on the MTA. Earlier in the month, an ‘F’ train was stuck in a tunnel for 45 minutes without lights or cooling. What’s more, also earlier in the month, train delays got so bad that people held a makeshift graduation ceremony inside an ‘E’ train for a man who was going to his commencement.

And if you live on the ‘L’ line, well, some of you may have been fired from your jobs already because of the frequency, or lack thereof, of that train.

We asked an MTA engineer about these proceedings who responded,

“We have engineers?”

When we told him that’s his job title, he just said, “Oh”, and shrugged his shoulders and started reading a report upside down.

MTA CEO Thomas F. Prendergast said,

“What is anyone gonna do about it? This is the only means of public transportation in NYC. So, suck it up while we are trying to figure it out.”

He probably should have moved to a different location when we questioned him because in the background were MTA officials dealing cards and there was an unidentifiable powder on the tables.

We reached out to Cuomo’s office but received no response.

In other news, bike, skateboard, and scooter sales have increased by over 300% over the past few months.

A New Yorker commented,

“They don’t care about us. So, don’t even take public transportation. I don’t own a bike but I am planning to invest in one soon. For now, I will be taking my daughter’s tricycle to work.”
Credit: Getty “Swiggity Swooty, I’m coming for that biweekly paycheck!”

Disclaimer: This is satire. Nothing written here reflects personally on anyone or any entity and are not necessarily the opinions of the writer. We are just having fun.

But we all know the MTA has gotten progressively worse.

Credits:

“Swiggity Swooty…” — Matt

“We have engineers?” — Akshay

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