Forever Writing A Story In My Head
I want someone struggling with themselves to read this article one day, whether they know me or not.
I want to write this article, but I don't know what to write about, nor do I know where to start from.
I have so many ideas in my head, I could easily write, but what is stopping me is what I don't know. Everytime I try putting something down, I overthink and I end up writing too much. Different sentences but same meaning.
That’s why I prefer the story in my head. Not overthinking. She just keeps going. Not letting anyone stop her. It always ends up better than what I actually put down. Maybe it’s because I’ve been underestimating myself.
I don't read my articles.
I should start by actually reading my articles. I am sure I'm not the first person that doesn't like reading their own written articles. Every time I was to read it, I'd just read a few sentences then stop just because of how bad I think it may sound. I've had too much expectations from people's perspectives that I couldn't appreciate the growth of mine.
I didn't even let my family and friends read them. It was that bad. Actually, before my friends and family knew I write, it took a while. Talk less about allowing them to actually read an article of mine.
I mean, "there are other better articles". That's what I usually do. It's a terrible thing to underestimate yourself so much that you don't even know what you are capable of and what you aren't capable of. But the issue is, I'm not scared of the abyss, I'm scared of going too high, that I end up falling back to where I began.
I'm bad at balancing situations. I act to the extreme or not at all. I've never been in-between. I have no idea what gray feels like.
But I'm going to dare to fly. That was my abyss. I'm not out of there yet, but I know I'd be out of there soon enough.
But that doesn't mean I'd stop writing a story in the head. She writes well. The story in my head is always better. And I'm the one writing it. And that's me, maybe me with a few sprinkles here and there. But that's still me.
Stop belittling your work. Stop using words like “just”, “trying”, “little”. You are not having a “little” art show, you are not “just writing” or “trying to write a novel”. YOU ARE WRITING! Stop saying your work sucks if you know you’re still learning. You are an artist!
Creation is a process, not a product!
Just like the moon, I must go through phases of emptiness to feel full again
