Where is The (Real) Happiness? You’re Taught Wrong
Please don’t go to the wrong shop; you would not find it in the market of materialism.
Happiness is something we all want, but how many of us know how to achieve it?
When you hear the word “HAPPINESS”, probably money comes to your mind.
But this is far away from the reality…
We live in a materialistic society, but seriously, an excess of material goods does not bring the sort of long-term contentment.
Happiness is a state of mind, and it has nothing to do with the external world.
The Prophet Muhammad said:
"Wealth is not in having vast riches; it is in contentment."— Bukhari
Firstly, it is extremely important to make you understand why we earn and spend thousands of dollars for the sake of contentment and satisfaction, but in the end, we get only temporary happiness.
We do not achieve what we had thought or what we had wanted…
The problem is we have so many wrong perceptions and assumptions about happiness.
I am going to address all these misconceptions, and afterward, I will tell you the secrets of real happiness.
I guarantee, you will be more than happy after reading this article.
The 'If Only' Syndrome on Conditional Happiness Goals
One of the biggest reasons people struggle with conditional happiness is because of what is known as the 'If Only' Syndrome.
This syndrome is characterized by a constant focus on what you don't have and how you will be happy only if you achieve certain goals or acquire certain things.
It is a mindset that is based on the idea of "if this, then that." For example, you might think "if only I had more money, I would be happy" or "if only I could lose weight, I would feel more attractive, which would make me happier."
This way of thinking creates a cycle of conditional happiness, where you are always waiting for some achievement or acquisition before you allow yourself to be happy.
The 'If Only' Syndrome is a dangerous mindset because it prevents you from experiencing unconditional happiness.
When you are constantly waiting for something to happen before you can be happy, you are essentially putting conditions on your happiness.
This means that you will never truly be happy because there will always be something else you need to achieve or acquire.
To break free from the 'If Only' Syndrome, you need to shift your mindset from conditional happiness to unconditional happiness.
This means focusing on the present moment and finding happiness in the things you already have. Instead of constantly thinking about what you don't have, try to focus on what you do have and be grateful for it.
It can be helpful to make a list of the things in your life that you are grateful for.
This could include things like your health, your family, your job, or even just a beautiful sunset. By focusing on the positive things in your life, you can start to shift your mindset and experience more unconditional happiness.
The Impact of Comparison
Comparison is another factor that can influence conditional happiness.
When you compare yourself to others, you may feel a sense of envy or dissatisfaction if you perceive that they have more than you do.
This can lead to a constant desire for more, which can be difficult to satisfy.
One way to manage the impact of comparison is to focus on your journey and progress, rather than comparing yourself to others.
Celebrate your successes and accomplishments, and recognize that everyone has their own unique path and challenges.
It can also be helpful to practice gratitude and appreciate what you already have, rather than constantly striving for more.
Effects of Conditional Happiness
1. Mental Health Implications
Conditional happiness can have a significant impact on your mental health. When you tie your happiness to external factors, such as material possessions or the achievement of certain goals, you may experience negative emotions, such as anxiety, stress, and depression, when those conditions are not met. These negative emotions can have a detrimental effect on your overall well-being.
Research has shown that individuals who pursue happiness through external means are more likely to experience symptoms of anxiety and depression than those who focus on internal factors, such as personal growth and self-awareness. This is because external factors are often out of your control, leading to feelings of helplessness and hopelessness.
2. Relationship Impacts
Conditional happiness can also have an impact on your relationships. When you tie your happiness to external factors, you may become overly focused on achieving those goals, which can lead to neglecting your relationships. You may become less available to your loved ones and less interested in their needs and desires.
Overall, it is important to recognize the negative effects of conditional happiness and focus on cultivating internal happiness through personal growth and self-awareness. By doing so, you can improve your mental health and strengthen your relationships.
3. Overcoming & Accepting Conditional Happiness
If you find yourself constantly waiting for specific conditions to be met in order to be happy, you may be experiencing conditional happiness. The good news is that there are techniques you can use to overcome this mindset and find happiness in the present moment.
4. Mindfulness and Acceptance
One way to overcome conditional happiness is to practice mindfulness and acceptance. Mindfulness involves being present in the moment and accepting your thoughts and feelings without judgment. This can help you recognize when you are caught up in thoughts of the future or past and bring you back to the present moment.
Acceptance involves acknowledging and accepting your current situation, even if it is not ideal. This can help you let go of the idea that you need certain conditions to be met in order to be happy. Instead, you can find happiness in the present moment, regardless of your circumstances.
The 4 Points for Achieving Real Happiness
All I am telling you are a hundred percent practical and natural. They will definitely give you the full contentment and satisfaction that you had wanted.
1. Accept the Way You Are
Whether you are rich or poor, beautiful or not, accepting your authentic self is a path to real happiness. Don’t try to be like someone else; remember you are a unique creature of God Almighty, and no one can take your place in the universe.
2. Blessing of Forgetfulness:
Forgetfulness can indeed be seen as a blessing from God. When we lose someone we love, the pain can be overwhelming, and the burden of grief can feel insurmountable. However, as time passes, the intensity of that sorrow diminishes. This gradual process of forgetting allows us to heal and move forward with our lives. Children, in particular, possess the remarkable ability to forget quickly, enabling them to bounce back from sadness and adversity with resilience and hope. In this way, forgetfulness can be seen as a divine gift that helps us cope with the inevitable losses and challenges of life, allowing us to find solace and strength in the passage of time.
3. Keeping Good Relations, the Most Important:
Spending time with your loved ones gives you organic motivation. The 75-Year Harvard Research Found the 1 Secret to Leading a Fulfilling Life. "The clearest message that we get from this 75-Year study is this: Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period. Not how many conferences you spoke at or keynoted.
No, the biggest predictor of your happiness and fulfillment overall in life is, basically, love.
Specifically, the study demonstrates that having someone to rely on helps your nervous system relax, keeps your brain healthier for longer, and reduces both emotional as well as physical pain.
The data is also very clear that those who feel lonely are more likely to see their physical health decline earlier and die younger.
"It's not just the number of friends you have, and it's not whether or not you're in a committed relationship," says Waldinger. "It's the quality of your close relationships that matters."
4. Forgiving Others Can Boost Your Happiness
If you've been truly hurt by someone, it can be hard to forgive. But there is new research that shows forgiveness may just free up more space in your life for happiness.
Everett Worthington has decades of experience studying forgiveness as a clinical psychologist. He says forgiving others may lead to improved mental health and well-being.
Author// A m i n
