Blogging saved my life

I never wanted to start a blog…

The only reason I started a blog was because I wanted to write a book.

And because I didn’t know a thing about writing books and I was pretty bad at it, it took me 10 months to finish that book. Instead of the 3 months I thought it would take me.

And because quite a few people pre-ordered that book and I didn’t want them to think that I was a fraud, I started a blog and sent them a blog post every once in a while so they knew I was still alive.

And over the years blogging and writing turned into the one and only stable thing in my life. I’ve lived and stayed in more places that I can remember. And the only thing that is and will always be the same is that I’m writing. Every single day.

Writing helps me to stay sane in a seemingly insane world. It helps me to stay balanced in a world out of balance. A world where I understand less and less every single day. A world where we have to constantly adapt to an ever changing environment.

When all we really want to do is to stay at home, be safe and avoid change as much as we can. Where all we want to have, where all we crave is stability. And safety. And for me, writing is my safety net.

It’s my way of daily meditation. I know, writing is probably the exact opposite of meditation. I never meditated, so I don’t really know. All I know is that they tell you to not think about stuff when you meditate. But what usually happens when you don’t want to think about anything is that you end up thinking about everything.

So for me writing is my way of putting my thoughts together. Of making sense of myself. And everything around me. I mostly write for myself. Most of the advice I give in my writings is advice I give to myself. In the hopes that one day I might be able to follow my own advice. And become a better person.

When I write, I don’t wear a mask. I’m mostly just myself. Which is hard in a world where everyone is wearing layers and layers of make up to hide their true self. To hide who they really are. Where we all try to appear knowledgeable when in reality we don’t know anything.

Sometimes I don’t talk to anyone for days. I feel that the more we talk, the less time we have to think. And the less time you have to think, well you probably know the result. You see it on TV and the news every single day. Writing is my time to think.

I don’t know. But for me writing is like medicine.

It’s my way of figuring myself out. Of better understanding myself. Of figuring out who I am deep down inside. Who I want to be. Who I might maybe one day be able to be.

But even more importantly, it helped me to accept myself the way I am. It saved my life. It saved the life that was waiting deep down inside of me waiting to be discovered…

This was a part of my new book. You can pre-order it here.