The Ultimate Guide To Investing (Or Losing) All Your Money

I made around $20 a week. And I put almost all of it into stocks. I had no clue about stocks. Or money. Or anything related to it. All I did was to buy a few magazines and read about some of the stocks they recommended.

I had no clue what the companies I invested in even did. Or what I did. I was 15 years old. All I knew was that it was a hell lot of fun doubling and sometimes even tripling the $20 a week I made as a paperboy.

And then all of a sudden I stopped. Well, it actually wasn’t so sudden. I just got interested in other things. Mostly girls. And partying. And other stupid stuff. Even more stupid than stocks. So that was that…

I sold all of my stocks. And since then I never bought any stocks ever again. Now that I think about it, it might have been around the time of the Internet bubble back in 2000. But I had no clue what a bubble was. Or what the companies really did back then. Or what the Internet really meant.

All I knew was that it made horrible sounds when you tried to go online, that it was pretty expensive, that you could get these AOL CDs everywhere and that I was only allowed to go online for something like 30 minutes a day.

So I sold all of my stocks before the big crash. I didn’t even know there was a crash. I bought low and sold high and pretty much never looked back again. Because I was busy chasing girls, finding cheap alcohol and figuring myself out. And to this day I hold exactly 0 stocks…

So a couple of months ago I was thinking about buying some stocks again.

Why?

Probably because I thought I‘m a genius and I’d be able to predict the future and use the Internet knowledge I gained over the past couple of years to quadruple my income. To never ever have to worry about anything ever again.

Needless to say I failed miserably…

I didn’t even manage to open a new bank account. Well, I actually managed to do but the people at the bank screwed everything up. After more than a month of back and forth I was stuck with customer support telling me that they have no information about my account.

Even though I had proof that I successfully registered, signed up and even verified my identity. So that was that. No more stocks for me…

I was pissed at pretty much every bank out there for wasting my time and thought that I’d never want to deal with any of them ever again. And then I did what everybody would do who doesn’t have a clue about money…

I started playing around with something I had even less clue about than stocks. I started looking for other ways to gamble away all of my money.

I started looking at cryptocurrencies. And surprisingly I did do quite well. Just like back in the days. But that’s for another time…

So if you think that I’m not credible to give you any financial or investment advice, you’re absolutely right. And you should never listen to anything I say. Just like you should never listen to anyone else except yourself.

But even more importantly, don’t ever take any financial or investment advice from a paperboy…

# I DON’T KNOW

Is probably the only investment advice you need to know. No one knows anything about anything.

I don’t know a damn thing about anything. I don’t know about stocks. Or cryptocurrencies. Or e-commerce or whatever. The only thing I know is the stuff I’ve seen with my own eyes because I’ve done it myself.

Here’s a secret the banking and pretty much every other industry out there doesn’t want you to know…

It’s impossible to predict anything. No one can predict the future. No one really knows anything. It’s all just guesses.

And everybody who tells you they are able to predict the future is basically lying to you. Everybody who guarantees you anything is basically trying to scam you.

I’ve told this story many times in the past but I’m going to tell it again…

Back in 2008 I had a course in college on futures and options. Some stuff on stocks. And one day one of these banker guys from Lehman Brothers gave a lecture.

He introduced us to all sorts of crazy graphs and stats and drew lines and lines on the whiteboard that no one really understood. I had no clue what he was talking about. And I’m sure he didn’t really have a clue about it either. And about half an hour later after drawing graphs and graphs on the whiteboard he finished by saying this…

“And that’s how we guarantee our customers a return of 10% on their investment.”

And a couple of months later Lehman Brothers went out of business, millions of jobs disappeared and trillions of dollars were basically flushed down the toilet. So that was that…

# EXPERTS

Don’t ever listen to experts. Or your bank. Or financial advisers. Or anybody else who doesn’t have a clue about anything. The problem is that no one really has a clue about what they’re talking about. Even me. Especially me. Don’t ever listen to me…

Here’s the thing…

If these so called experts are so good at what they do, if they’re able to predict the market and the future why aren’t they millionaires or trillionaires themselves already? After all, they could easily follow their own advice and make it big. Really, really big…

So just the other day I was reading an article in a newspaper where a so called financial adviser who is managing billions of dollars was talking about cryptocurrencies. And he even said that he never even invested a single cent into any cryptocurrency.

All he did was to write down a number on a piece of paper where he would have invested just to see how high it would go. And those are the folks we listen to. Those are the so called experts. So that’s that.

Past performance doesn’t say anything about future performance..

# IT’S ABOUT PEOPLE

It’s always about people. Your business is about people. The stock market is about people. The economy is about people. Heck, the entire world is about people. And nothing else. It’s about understanding people. Because everything you see, use or whatever is done, managed or created by people.

And whenever you put your time, resources or money into anything, be it as an investor, a trader or an employee, the only thing you really need to succeed is to understand people. If you have zero empathy, if you can’t put yourself into other people’s shoes, you’re going to lose. In pretty much every field of life.

So whenever you make a decision to invest money, time, resources or whatever into something look at the people. That’s the only thing that matters.

And if you invest in stocks or anything else, you’ve gotta look at people also. No matter if it’s real estate, the stock market or some of the current crypto craze. Knowing who is playing the game is almost more important than knowing what game you’re actually even playing.

Because if you’re playing against some of the world champions in that game, no matter what game, no matter whether you even know how to play that game, you’re going to lose anyway. And you’re almost always playing against the best of the best in the world. In any game…

Know the players sitting at your table before you even start playing the game. Because the smart players are always going to take the stupid player’s money. And if you can’t spot the stupid player at the table, it’s very likely that you’re the stupid player…

# EMOTIONS

99% of market movements are essentially caused by emotions. And as we all know from interacting with friends, coworkers, boyfriends, girlfriends, spouses, bosses and on and on and on, emotions are totally unpredictable. No one knows what will push people’s buttons. That’s why it’s impossible to predict anything.

That’s why the first thing to do whenever you invest time, money and resources into anything is to know your own temper. Your own emotions. What triggers them and what doesn’t. Knowing yourself and the other players at the table is probably the single most important thing to know and to understand. In anything in life…

99% of the things going on n the world are about emotions. Either your own emotions or some other people’s emotions. Don’t get caught up in the drama…

# DON’T EVER GO ALL OUT

# SMART PEOPLE

Don’t ever think you’re smart. Because you probably aren’t. And when I say you, I’m talking about myself. So instead of thinking you’re smart by doing something that no one else is doing, try to look at what the really smart people are doing. The ones who are basically controlling the entire planet.

Look at the folks who invested in all of the super big stuff out there. It’s very likely that their moves are going to be smarter than your moves. Well, it’s almost guaranteed. Even if there’s no guarantee that it’s going to work out. There never is a guarantee for anything.

But if you can get some of the smartest people in the world to work for you for free, by taking a look at what they’re doing, what they’ve invested in, then why would you go through all the trouble of figuring out all of this stuff yourself?

Just outsource the work to the Warren Buffett’s of the world and invest in what they invested in…

And most of this information is publicly available and accessible for the entire world to see. You just gotta open your eyes…

# DIVERSIFY

But just like I said before, past performance doesn’t say anything about future performance. That’s why you should always diversify as much as you can. Have as many bets going as possible. No matter how big or small. Because you can never know what’s going to be the next big thing. Don’t ever put all of your time, energy, resources and money into one thing only. Be like an investor and spread your risk across multiple bets and be comfortable losing 9 out of 10 times….

# ONLY DO THINGS YOU CAN AFFORD

There are two types of people out there.

People who take risks and people who don’t take risks.

People who don’t take risks will never be able to change anything in their lives. Be it in love, business, relationships or whatever…

And then you have people who take risks. Unfortunately, most people take risks they can’t afford.

Like quitting your job when you don’t have any savings.

Or buying a house when it’s very likely that it’s going to take you 20+ years to pay back that mortgage.

Or buying that super expensive TV, that fancy laptop, those stocks or whatever you can’t really afford.

Don’t ever take any risks you can’t afford…

Taking risks you can’t afford will keep you up at night. And then those risks will rob your sleep, your happiness, your freedom and ultimately your whole life.

And it all starts with sleepless nights. Those sleepless nights will lead to a lack of sleep. And a lack of sleep leads to even more mistakes. Mistakes that are then going to lead to you having to take even bigger risks you can’t really afford. Which again will lead to even more sleepless nights. And on and on and on.

In a nutshell…

Only take risks you can afford. And never take risks you can’t afford.

It really is that simple. But not easy. Because we’re all a bit greedy when the time is right. Or wrong…

But it’s ok. You don’t have to listen to me. You should never listen to me. Just get out there and see it with your own yes…

# NAYSAYERS

That relationship is not going to work out. That business is not going to work out. The market is going to crash. That idea is stupid. It’s a bubble. No one is ever going to read that book. No one even cares about you…

We all know these people. They are everywhere. They are spreading fear everywhere. And even though they might be right from time to time it doesn’t mean they’re going to be right all the time.

And again, the only way to figure out what works and what doesn’t is to do it. To see it with your own eyes….

The only way to figure out whether she’s the one is to date her.

The only way to figure out whether that business is going to work out is to build it.

The only way to figure out whether it’s a bubble is to take your money, invest a bit of it and see what happens.

The only way to learn how to surf is to get out there into the water and try to catch those waves…

You won’t learn a damn thing about love, business, the economy, the stock market or the dynamics of cryptocurrencies by watching the news. Or by reading books. Or by listening to podcasts. Or by reading posts like this one right here.

The only way to learn anything about anything is to get out there, to do stuff, to see what works and what doesn’t and to see the results with your own eyes…

# YOU CAN’T LOSE IF YOU MAKE A PROFIT

It’s as simple as that. If you take money off the table, you won’t be able to lose that money. Period…

# BUBBLES

Bubbles are everywhere. The entire world is a bubble. Crypto is a bubble. The housing market is a bubble. Money is a bubble. Gold is a bubble. Your salary is a bubble. Your friends are a bubble. Your entire life is a bubble. Everything is a bubble…

But just because it’s a bubble doesn’t mean you’re not going to live your life, right?

And instead you just try to navigate that bubble. You just try to figure out what works and what doesn’t. You just try to live your life in the best possible way you can.Trying to benefit as much as you can from those bubbles. And helping others to navigate those bubbles as much as you can…

Because bubbles come and go. And in every bubble there are people who are going to benefit a lot while others are going to suffer a lot. That’s just the way it is.

But whatever you do, don’t let others decide for you whether you’re going to suffer or benefit from those bussbles. And instead, make up your own mind, get out there and try to learn as much as you can by doing, instead of listening to others…

# WHAT GOES UP MUST COME DOWN

It’s as simple as that. This rule applies to everything out there. In 100% of the cases. Just like the rule what goes down must come up also holds true. In 100% of the cases. It’s just a matter of whether you’re able to afford the down time and wait long enough until it goes back up again…

# CRASH

There have been and there will always be a crash. Because just like I said what goes up must come down. And just like it goes down it will go up again. So be ready for that moment when things go down. Put as much money, time and resources on the side so that you can pick the cherries that will go down just because the entire market is panicking.

The time when things go down is the time when the real winners are going to be made.

99% of everything you see happening when the market is exploding are basically scams. And they’re going to disappear and never come back again during that crash.

Every crash leads to losers and some winners. Winners that are going to win big. Really, really big. And losers that are going to completely disappear.

Google survived that last Internet crash. Apple survived that last crash. Amazon survived that crash. Heck, most of the biggest companies in Germany survived World War II and were leading in many fields for decades and decades…

So how can you find the ones that are going to win in the long run?

# DON’T BE LAZY

And do your own research. Figure out who’s also invested in that thing. If it’s some of the most successful people out there, you’re increasing the chances of hitting a winner. But whatever you do, don’t ever forget to diversify and spread your risk…

If you’re lazy and don’t do your own research, you are always going to buy high when everybody else is buying, just because you’re afraid of missing out. And you’re going to sell low when everybody else is panicking.

Doing your own research before putting time, energy, resources and money into anything is the only way to ever buy low and sell high. Do your own research and only invest money, time and resources into something you’re 100% comfortable holding if things go horribly wrong.

Because things will always go horribly wrong. This applies to pretty much everything in life. Love, relationships, business, investments and on and on and on.

Do the hard work BEFORE you commit to anything and not only when you’re outside in the rain and your house is about to be blown away by a tornado…

# STEP BY STEP

Whenever you meet someone new you’re not going to propose to them right away, are you?

Whenever you want to learn something new you’re not going to do it on stage in front of 10,000 people, are you?

Whenever you’re applying for a new job you’re not going to apply for the job as the CEO if you never even worked in your life, are you?

Right. You aren’t…

You go step by step. Every single time. You go from one thing to the next. And once you’ve figured out that one thing you go to the next thing.

This applies to pretty much everything.

Don’t go all in if you have no clue about what you’re doing…

If you can only afford to lose $1000 start with investing $10.

And then $10 more. And then $10 more. And on and on and on.

One step at a time…

# MORE TRADES

A lot of people give up right after that first trade went wrong. Or that first business. Or that first big love. Or once that job turns out to be not as great as you thought it was.

But the truth is that nothing will be perfect right away. You need many trades. Many shots. Many relationships. Many businesses. Many everything. At least I do. I don’t know about you…

But whatever you do, make sure you never give up. Make sure you never stop trying. And don’t ever regret. Don’t regret that you sold at 100 when it went up to 300 a couple of days later. And instead buy in again as soon as you can. And if you miss it again, try again next time.

Go on as many dates as you possibly can. Work on as many different ideas as you can. Collect as many different experiences as you can. Live in as many different places as you can. Talk to as many different people as you can.

Never stop trying. And never give up. Because the only way to get better at something is to do it over and over again. To learn your lessons and do it better next time.

But make sure you never take a risk too big that you won’t be able to handle anymore if things go wrong. Because things will always go wrong…

# FEAR

Works. In both ways. In good ways and in bad ways. Try to use your fear as rocket fuel.

Just like someone a lot smarter than me once said…

Only the paranoid survive…

But most importantly, don’t ever listen to a 15 year old paperboy like me.

And instead go out there, do your own research and then get the party started.

Go on as many dates as possible.

Work on as many ideas as you can.

Do as many trades as you can.

Get better at what you do.

That’s the only way…

Originally published at yanngirard.typepad.com.