How I’m No Longer Haunted by the Ghosts of Friendships Past
A spooky tale about self-discovery and letting go of expectations
Have you ever had a close friend who, out of nowhere, starts to bail on plans, avoids your calls and texts, and doesn’t want to discuss any perceived relational rifts? Even when this “breakup” occurs in a casual friendship, it can feel like a karate chop to your heart and self-esteem.
Friendships often end in a whimper rather than a bang. A hidden list of grievances suddenly exposed. A split-second betrayal of trust. A connection that fades over time until you haven’t seen each other in years and you find you no longer have anything in common.
Breaking up with friends is brutal. I find friend breakups tougher than the demise of most doomed romances. People I’ve trusted and enjoyed and invested in fade away. Friends with whom I’ve vulnerably shared both broken moments and exhilarating times of joy suddenly disappear from my life altogether. It stings.
Alas, I’m not alone in this experience. A 2009 study from ScienceDaily found that within seven years, we all lose at least half of our current social networks. This isn’t all doom and gloom — redefining friendships, growing to a different stage of life, and discovering different perspectives can cause each one of…
