On Adult Friendship ...
Friendship is something that I don’t take lightly but something that I treasure. Here’s my experience.
I’m close to 4 decades of my life, yet I am still growing as a person, a mother, a wife and a daughter. The saying that age is just a number resonates with me and I think, to the rest of us or at least, some.
It was a game changer when we moved to another state. But merely two months into, I found my footing, and slowly but surely, opened this new way of thinking in a pursuit of a somewhat different lifestyle. When you do something for decades, it becomes a part of your identity, it becomes who you are, and if you’re someone like me, it’s hard to reconcile. It’s almost like searching for your self-esteem that you thought you have lost, you don’t know who you are now going forward.
I thought I should ask myself random questions to recalibrate my journey and hopefully, find something that may resonate with my readers.
Q: What is my identity now that everything I once knew was non-existent?
At this point, I am still trying to find my purpose, not just a way to make a living or live for that matter, but my genuine quest to find myself. SAHM is harder that I thought and I still struggle. The never ending chores, cooking and errands, is not something that I had pictured myself doing. Yesterday, I cooked twice- steak for lunch, for the hubs and I and after picking my child from school, I'm back at it again, making some sort of fried rice because….. why not?
The path that I am taking drove me to exercise my creative brain which was covered in spider webs before I cleaned it out. I had to think of different ways on how to make breakfast, and lunch not just as a mere sustenance but healthy and delicious, and pleasant in the eye. Obviously, I document it as I go. My cooking has improved drastically compared to a non-existing one. This is one way to improve myself by any means necessary.
Moving in general is hard, especially when you do not know a single soul. But, thank you Facebook group!
“How we utilize facebook as a youngling is different from how we use it when we’re older. It’s almost sorta a tool, a tool that in some ways help people connect genuinely, rather than use it nonsensically — waiting for “likes”, comparing yourself to others, etc.”
Like I said, Facebook is a great way to connect and reconnect to people. At this point, I needed it to connect. Being an introvert, it was hard for me to take the first step but at least, the group feature eased my way into it. Before I knew it I became fast friends with one of the fellow transplants from another state. And the rest is history. Think about this as a group tinder date for moms. Hahahahah!!
Q: What do you want to do now?
As much as I want to feel sorry for myself, for not working and all that, for taking the time to stay home to get everyone settled. I am taking this opportunity to get to know me. As my husband would say, this is your time to do whatever you want — to work or not work.
So, I took his advice, and I decided to take one for the team. Take care of everyone and everything while he works. This also gave me the opportunity to explore different avenues on what I wanted to pursue. Which is still in progress….
But as you grow older, meeting friends is not as easy a task. Long time friendship requires give and take, and might I add ….. work. I can only count genuine friendships that I’ve developed throughout the years with my 10 fingers. We’ve been friends since childhood and those friendships last a lifetime. Some are also friends who are just passing by. This is not less of a friendship, but maybe they will just teach you something and they’re off to their own path.
They said that if a friendship lasts more than 7 years and keeps climbing , they are now called a family. And yes, it is very much so. But this is not about old friends but a new one.
When my 7 years old child left her friends, whether in kindergarten and from her Montessori school. She would always sing this song, but I can only remember just a part of it. Yeah, that’s mom’s brain for you.
“ Make new friends but keep the old, la… la… la… “
Regardless of how hard it is to find genuine friends, one must still try. Until we find our groupies, as the kids will say it these days. I say, keep on trying! I’m sure there’s a lot of mom’s out there who are on the same boat or at least have been where you are now.
So keep on looking, keep on having fun, and keep on improving. Cheers to all of us!!!
Thank you for reading. Stay SAFE and LIVE well!
