Member-only story
Love Generously
Relationships are mirrors
The other day it was my turn to get up early on the weekend to look after our six year old son Leo, while my wife Lauren slept in. I got Leo his breakfast and sat down to write while he ate. A while later, Lauren emerged, grumpy. It had been a stressful week and she had not been sleeping well. She was annoyed that I had chosen to write rather than tidy the house, and her complaints soon left me feeling as tetchy as she was. We had arranged to swim that morning, and while gathering my things, I noted that she had packed towels for Leo and herself but not for me.
“I see it’s an every man for himself situation,” I groused.
“We can improve that,” she said. “Like I could make you a coffee in the morning, but you never make one for me so I don’t really feel like it.”
Say what?? I never make her a coffee in the morning? That was plainly untrue, so I immediately fell into some resentful inner monologue which continued as we drove, in silence, to the pool. I wanted to raise the fact that she had unfairly exaggerated my lack of attentiveness, and how this made me feel like my efforts weren’t seen or appreciated.
I was silently rehearsing various phrasings of this complaint in my head when something occurred to me that should have been obvious from the start. She had raised the…
