Gender Roles vs Gender Inequality and how it affects us as an Society
Society has this way of painting an image of what the ideal women and men should be and how they should live based on that image. It also creates a double standard with everything having to do with gender. In hetersoexual relationships the roles would be that women are the ones that cook, clean, take care of the kids, etc. While men are the providers, fixer, etc. In same sex relationships each person has no role, they do what they feel most comfortable doing without any labels such as feminie or masculine being brought into it. Why is that same sex relationships can have more equality and understanding in relationships than heteroexual relationships? Other than there being one man and one women or two women and two men, what is the thing keeping heterosexual couples from having equality and freedom in their relationship?
Gender roles are the way society views us based on our gender. We are expected to act, speak, dress, groom, and conduct ourselves in a manner that fits society’s view of what a woman or man should be and these roles are also very important on how we conduct our relationships. In heterosexual relationships gender roles are planted from society to divide feminie and masculine characteristics that women and men should do. But in same sex relationships since there aren’t one male and one female, it’s both of the same gender, How does gender roles assemble in their relationships? Are there any gender roles at all?
If you were to go up and ask someone in a same sex relationships if they were the male or female in the relationship, they would look at you like you’re saying the most dumbest thing ever because it’s rude and doesn’t quite make sense. In same sex relationships there isn’t a male or female, it’s literally just two men or two women. Society’s standard relationship is based around heterosexuals so those gender roles will never apply to same sex relationships because they aren’t the same. I’ve learned that same sex relationships are better when it comes to gender roles within their relationship because it’s more equality than heterosexual relationships. I think gender roles are society’s way of keeping the relationship balanced and keeping generational norms alive but that doesn’t mean that it’s necessary.
Many people assume that people in same sex relationships would have the same gender roles as people in heterosexual relationships but those type of relationships actually make up a whole different way to construct gender roles into their relationships. Society standard gender roles are essentially made for women and men relationships so people often get confused about same sex relationships and their gender roles. In same sex relationships there aren’t any gender roles or standard rules. Each person is given equal rights to be as feminine or masculine as they want without putting a women or man label on it. Same sex relationships also have more equality when it comes to house work and sexual activity. In heterosexual relationships the women is supposed to be the more submissive and feminine while the men is the more dominant and masculine one but in same sex relationships those type characteristics aren’t needed, each person is give equal opportunity to be who they want and do what they want without being frowned upon.
In the article “Who’s the man?’ Why the gender divide in same-sex relationships is a farce” Arwa Mahdawi talks about feminie and masculine roles in same sex relationships when it comes to house work. Usually it is always the masculine one taking out the trash, holding the door, fixing things, etc. Then it’s always the more feminie one cooking, cleaning, shopping, etc. Arwa quotes Judith Butler “Gay is to straight not as copy is to original, but, rather, as copy is to copy”. Meaning that no matter where you fall on the sexuality spectrum, you will always have a role based on your appearance and the way you act. Arwa overall point was that no matter what your gender is, your role is equal to what fits you best and not based on you sexuality or gender.
What I found interesting in the article “Who’s the man?’ Why the gender divide in same-sex relationships is a farce” is that same sex couples often act feminie or masculine just to have the roles that comes with acting that way. Some of them don’t want to have to take out the trash and some of them don’t want to have to clean. I learned that same sex relationships do have gender roles but they are not based off society’s standards, they are more based on what fits them the best. My overall reaction to this text was that it’s very helpful. It helped me learn more and answer some of my questions since the author is a part of the LGBT community.
In the article “Gender Roles and its Effect on Today’s Society” Susan Ikegwu talks about how gender roles create all these characteristics that we should be as women or men but it doesn’t consider who we want to be. Although some women might not like cooking they are still expected to cook because of society norms and traditional standards for women. Goes for men as well where they are expected to provide above and beyond for their women. In the article Susan says “Gender roles influence men and women in almost every aspect of life. The differences between the sexes both real and imagined, are used as a means to justify their existence. Gender inequality arises from these perceived differences. This has not helped our society, where we raise boys to be providers, stoic, uncompromising and demanding. Whereas we raise girls to be submissive, passive and to cater to a man’s needs”(Ikegwu). These high expectations that society puts on men and women has literally dragged down who men and women really want to be. For what? To make someone else happy? To provide special needs for someone? To do things that the other person can do by themselves?
What I found interesting in the article “Gender Roles and its Effect on Today’s Society” is that gender roles really have a big effect on how men and women live their lives. People really should unlearn the gender norms and actually start looking at gender more differently and being more open about it. Gender roles shouldn’t predict if we are wife or husband material and how masculine or feminie we are. Being free spirited within our gender should be more normalized.
These findings challenges the questions or assumptions of people who tended to assume that same sex relationships have the same gender roles as heterosexual relationships. Heterosexual people have long assumed that people in same sex relationships are supposed have the “man” and “woman” stereotypes that society has established to their relationship. But who really cares? Who besides anyone who wants more equality and freedom in their heterosexual relationship, not just LGBTQ+ individuals and their relationships. The wider world could be able to learn from same sex relationships and their gender norms and apply those to heterosexual relationships. They could also try to learn more about being more freely with expressing who they really are without worrying if their masculinity or femininity will be questioned.
Yet some readers might challenge my view by insisting that gender roles have importance in relationships and our biological factors. They may also challenge it by insisting that it helps balance women and men’s roles in society. On one hand, I agree with them that gender roles help balance women and men’s roles in society. But on the other hand, I still insist that society’s norm of gender roles and how it maintains our relationships and the way women and men live aren’t really needed. Same sex relationships are able to have a stable relationship without dividing each other with gender roles and stereotypes. But in heterosexual relationships there isn’t much equality and a big gender gap between what women and men should do. In a standard relationship women are supposed to be the caretaker and submissive while the man is the provider and the more dominant one. So if a man was to be the caretaker and a woman was to be the provider, why does that take away how masculine or feminie they are? Society has this norm of men not being able to have feminie characteristics, wear certain colors, wear certain clothes, or even do basic hygiene needs without someone calling him gay or saying that he’s a female. Same goes for women whereas in society she is expected to be this perfect polished woman. She has to dress “ladylike”, have her hair a certain way, talk a certain way, walk a certain way.. All for society to accept her and not look down on her as a woman.
Each of my sources has all told me that people in same sex relationships have no gender roles and obey by their own rules. They live freely based on what they think is right and what they want to do. Another thing these sources have told me was that same sex relationships have better equality when it comes to sexual activity and housework. No one is supposed to just do house work or initiate sexual activity, each person is able to do so because there aren’t gender roles stopping them from doing so. They also told me that heterosexual women in society are expected to be this perfect women and live up to high standards to which she can’t freely be herself or do what she wants without being judged. I think that society should reconsider how their standard relationship should be because men and women should be able to freely be themselves without someone telling them that it’s not masculine or feminine enough for them to do or that it’s not their characteristic. I think this because I believe gender roles shouldn’t exist. If a man wants to wear a dress or paint his nails, he should be able to do so without someone thinking that he is gay or downplaying how masculine he is. If a women wants to dress in boy clothes and play football, she should be able to without people thinking she’s lesbian or downplaying how feminie she is. I feel like everyone should be able to live freely without having to worry about a label.
