The Interconnectedness of Experience:
Adoption, Identity, and the Collective Human Journey
Whilst looking at the vastness of the human experience, it must me noted that this realisation has most definitely not come easily to me.
Adoption represents a profound thread that interweaves with the fabric of identity and connection. As a former multimedia lecturer and graphic designer, I can craft vivid online video content that could illustrate the complexities of adoption. Yet, I choose not to engage in this medium, aware of the inherent bigotry and conflict that often pervades social media platforms. In a digital landscape fraught with division, adding the raw truth of adoption-related experiences could deepen existing tensions. Nevertheless, these truths must be acknowledged, for they offer essential insights into the lives of adoptees and the broader human condition.
Understanding the Attitude Towards Adoptees
The prevailing attitude towards adoptees who share the perceived negative aspects of their experience often reflects a societal discomfort with confronting the complexities of adoption. Adoption is frequently idealized as a purely positive outcome — a rescue or a gift of a better life. This comforting narrative, while well-intentioned, overlooks the nuanced realities of an adoptee’s journey.
When adoptees voice their challenges, pain, or feelings of loss, it disrupts this simplistic view and threatens the cherished belief that adoption is an unmitigated good. This discomfort can lead to resistance to acknowledging the hardships adoptees face. Such denial not only silences the adoptee but also overlooks a crucial aspect of the collective human experience that everyone needs to understand.
The Inextricable Link Between Adoptive and Non-Adoptive Experiences
A profound truth that often escapes notice is that one experience does not exist without the other. The experience of being adopted — marked by disconnection from biological roots — is inherently linked to the experience of those who grow up with their biological families. The unique biological identity of a non-adopted person gains its meaning and significance precisely because of the contrast provided by the adoptee’s journey.
When society dismisses the adoptive experience, it inadvertently dismisses its own experience. The struggles faced by adoptees in navigating their identities are not isolated phenomena; they reflect broader truths about identity and human connection applicable to everyone. The pain of disconnection felt by adoptees underscores the value of the connections that non-adopted people may often take for granted.
Tat Twam Asi:
The Unity of Experience
This interconnectedness is beautifully encapsulated in the principle of “Tat Twam Asi” — “Thou Art That.” The experiences of adoptees are not separate from the broader human experience but are a reflection of it. By acknowledging the full spectrum of adoption, including its challenges and difficulties, society honours the truth of adoptees while gaining a more profound understanding of itself.
The journey of an adoptee, with all its complexities, illuminates the human condition as a whole. Embracing these truths enables society to adopt a more holistic view of life, where the experiences of all individuals — whether adopted or not — are recognized and valued. It is through this acceptance that we attain a deeper understanding of our collective humanity.
Why I Choose Not to Share Through Multimedia
Given my expertise in multimedia and graphic design, I have the ability to create compelling visual narratives that could vividly illustrate these adoption experiences. However, I choose not to engage in this medium due to the prevailing bigotry and conflict on social media. The current digital environment is not conducive to nuanced discussions and often exacerbates conflicts rather than fostering understanding. Introducing complex truths about adoption into this volatile mix could lead to further alienation or backlash against adoptees, which I wish to avoid.
The experiences of adoptees are not solely their own but are a mirror reflecting broader human experiences. Dismissing the challenges of adoption is akin to dismissing a part of ourselves. Only by acknowledging and understanding these intertwined experiences can we move toward a more compassionate and unified society.
Acceptance of Duality (Rwa Bhineda):
Embracing the Complex Tapestry of Human Experience
In exploring the interconnectedness of adoption and identity, the concept of Rwa Bhineda — “two is one” or the acceptance of duality — offers a profound lens through which we can understand the coexistence of seemingly opposing experiences. This Balinese principle emphasizes that contradictory aspects of existence are not mutually exclusive but are intertwined and essential for a complete understanding of the self and the world.
Rwa Bhineda and Adoption:
Embracing Contradictions
Rwa Bhineda teaches us that dualities — such as light and dark, joy and sorrow, or connection and disconnection — are integral to our reality. In the context of adoption, this principle helps us appreciate that the adoptive experience and the biological experience are not opposites but interdependent aspects of the human condition.
For adoptees, their journey involves navigating the complexities of separation from their biological roots while seeking to understand and integrate their identities. Non-adopted individuals, in contrast, experience a different form of connection through their biological ties and familial heritage. Recognizing that these experiences are two sides of the same coin allows us to see that both are necessary for a fuller understanding of human identity.
The Significance of Acknowledging Dual Experiences
By accepting the principle of Rwa Bhineda, we can move beyond superficial narratives and engage with the deeper truths of human existence. The experiences of adoptees, including their feelings of loss and disconnection, are not separate from those of individuals who grow up with their biological families. Instead, they reflect the broader human journey of finding and understanding one’s place in the world.
Acknowledging both experiences — adoptive and non-adoptive — helps bridge the gap between different perspectives. It encourages empathy and respect, fostering a more inclusive dialogue where all experiences are recognized and valued.
The Role of Rwa Bhineda in Transforming Social Attitudes
Embracing the duality of adoption experiences through the lens of Rwa Bhineda can transform societal engagement with adoptees and their narratives. Rather than viewing adoptees’ stories as disruptions to a simplified narrative of adoption as a purely positive act, we can recognise these stories as integral to a more nuanced and complete understanding of human experience.
This acceptance fosters greater empathy and support for adoptees by acknowledging their struggles as part of the broader human experience. It also encourages non-adopted individuals to reflect on their own identities in relation to the experiences of adoptees, leading to a deeper appreciation for the complexities of human connection and identity.
Moving Forward:
Building a More Inclusive Dialogue
To fully embrace the principle of Rwa Bhineda, we must create spaces where diverse experiences are openly shared and respected. This means supporting adoptees in sharing their stories without fear of dismissal or backlash. It also involves actively listening to and learning from these experiences, recognizing that they contribute to a richer and more comprehensive understanding of human identity.
As someone who has chosen not to create multimedia content due to the prevailing bigotry on social media, I emphasize the importance of approaching these discussions with sensitivity and respect. The aim is not to add to the conflict but to foster a more inclusive and empathetic dialogue.
The principle of Rwa Bhineda — accepting duality — reminds us that the experiences of adoptees and non-adopted individuals are intertwined aspects of the human condition. By acknowledging and embracing these dual experiences, we foster a deeper understanding of identity and connection. This holistic approach allows us to move beyond simplistic narratives and build a more compassionate society where all experiences are valued and respected. Through this acceptance of duality, we work towards a more inclusive and empathetic world, where the complexities of adoption and identity are understood and appreciated as integral parts of the human journey.
