Climbing Out of The Lion’s Den
A personal reflection on a year of struggle, loss, and failure, and how we can manage a future of doubt and uncertainty.
Around this time last year, I felt pretty high and on top of the world. I had just been promoted, I felt on a pretty high level of regard amongst my peers, and I made the largest personal purchase in my life to celebrate this achievement, a high-end watch.
This year at this time? I am unemployed, I have let many people in my life down (and lost some friends and colleagues in the process), and am personally looking at around $500 in remaining savings.
(Oh, and that watch? I’m selling it to pay for January rent.)
It’s personally and professionally been a difficult year. I’m a pretty giving person in both areas and as a result can let myself get carried away with being, well, too helpful. As a result, a lot of people, from work colleagues to people in my personal life, have taken advantage of me and have left me into this miserable state. Moreover, being no longer at a 100% mental and physical balance has hurt me on not being the best person to those who actually need it, and it’s hurt others and destroyed personal and professional relationships.
In other words, sometimes being too helpful can actually do more harm than good.
While I’m currently a free agent and part of this post is to announce it to you all as I look for short- and long-term job and career solutions and am happy to discuss all options, this post isn’t meant to create a pity party, “oh woe is me” effect here. I own up to all of my decisions even if many turned out to be disasters. The other main part of this post is a word of advice for everyone reading this as we approach a new year: it’s ok to be a little selfish now in order to be more selfless and helpful down the line. It’s a mission where I personally plan to work on through the end of this year into 2018.
While I have been struggling and continue to work on short- and long-term solutions, I’ve fortunately been able to focus my gratitude to those who matter. A family who still supports me unconditionally even as they’ve been tough on me. A wonderful and beautiful partner in crime in Anna who has been my biggest cheerleader. (I love you so much, eaglet.) Members of my professional and personal inner circles who are tirelessly trying to help me with opportunities, short-term loans (KS, SS, JE, bro, THANK YOU), and general support.
We all have members of this “inner circle” who will always be there to not just always be there to help you through your struggles, but they also will be your voice of reason, your reality check, and your tool to make sure that you’re helping yourself be at 100% so you can healthily and mentally help others at 100%.
While I proceed to do this through the end of this year and as a New Year’s Resolution, I also humbly request you, the reader, to identify those in your “inner circle” and show gratitude for them; when they are struggling and going through their own personal and unpredictable Hells, you can help your Daniel-like friends out of their lions dens, just as they will do the same for you. (Just don’t retaliate by either figuratively or literally sending the criminals and their loved ones to the lions. :) )
Finally, if you feel that you don’t have anyone in that inner circle, feel free to reach out to me. While my personal focuses need to come first, I promise to be as prompt, approachable, and helpful as I can.
We can all make a small difference for those in our lives who need it, even if it’s encouraging them to work on themselves first. Sometimes all it takes is an outreached hand.
