The Things We Are and Are Not

I have been reflecting on identity (the question seems to come up one way or another every day, whether it’s Meghan Markle or David Brooks). I find myself going back to a conversation among a small group of new friends that has stuck with me over the years.

A man in his 50's sitting next to his wife, for whom his love was evident, told me with a hitch in his voice that the hardest thing he’s had to accept was…