Grief and Gratitude
I originally conceived this piece as a reflection on fandom, on collective suffering and celebration, in the wake of yet another monumental collapse by the Toronto Maple Leafs. This was before the news of the horrific and premeditated murder of four members of a London, Ontario family, and attempted murder of the fifth, simply because they were Muslim. This brutal attack, perversely, also made me reflect on our collective experience, albeit with much more grief-tinted glasses.
In my religious tradition, the Shi’a Imami Ismaili one, it is customary to say “Shukranlillah” or “Gratitude to Allah” when someone passes away. For years the term disturbed me, how in the midst of grief is one supposed to find and ask for gratitude? It was only after the death of a close cousin that I figured it out. I give thanks for the light this event has shown on the issues of Islamophobia in this country. I give thanks that the community has come together to support a suddenly orphaned nine year old boy. I give thanks for the dinner table conversations, the donations, and the activism that is sure to come in the wake of this tragedy. Make no mistake, the Salman family are not martyrs, in the same way George Floyd was not, or Breonna Taylor or the countless other unnecessary deaths that have preceded social change. The Salman family are victims in a crime that should not have happened in order for public discourse to confront the rot spreading through our society. It is a calamity that this is the catalyst. However, I hope this can be a turning point, where we can move from platitudes and solidarity to real, actionable policies. It is time to finally dispel the myth of Canadian exceptionalism. If the colonial history of this country did not make that apparent, if École Polytechnique, the Quebec mosque shooting, or even the truly unimaginable revelation of 215 child bodies in a residential school did not do it, maybe this will. Stop saying “this isn’t Canada” and listen to people who say it is.
I have become numb to the news lately. Each week there is another story of cruel injustice, of horrific actions, of devastating loss. My father sometimes says it is healthier to push these events from my mind, to focus on the good, of which there is plenty. He points to the Mr. Rogers quote that says “look for the heroes”. I’ve seen heroes lately. After every tragedy they emerge, risking the virus to protest against racial injustice, organizing sit-ins and hunger strikes to bring attention, or raising money to support a nine year old boy. But these heroes, these selfless individuals and acts must not erase the pain and trauma. It is our privilege to be able to have the choice to turn off Twitter for a day, take a mental health break, and forget about the world for a while. And so I will keep doing my part, however small, whether through monetary contributions, awareness raising, or simply writing, I will work to make the world one I want to live in. There are a couple pages set up to support Fayez, much of the money raised will be donated in the form of Sadaqa Jariya, an Islamic concept of charity after death. Please consider donating if you are able: [https://www.gofundme.com/f/salman-family-accident-relief]
To the Salman family, to Fayez, I am so sorry. We as a society failed you and your family and I hope we can do better. Inna Lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’un, Verily we belong to Allah and verily to Him we return. Shukranlillah.
