Why I Had to Do It
(Note: this is raw stuff so some of the language may be distasteful to some. If you are sensitive to harsh language… well you’ve been warned.)
I’ve played and watched hockey my whole life. I coached kids for 10 years — not because my kid played, she doesn’t skate, because I wanted to contribute to the community by working with its future. I loved it all but as the years went by I saw changes in the kids and culture and I knew it was time to “retire”. My coaching partner throughout those ten years also chose to move on. I did keep playing, however.
For me, hockey was a microcosm of life.
Two years ago I noticed that the beer wasn’t tasting good, dragging all that equipment around was a burden and I didn’t enjoy being in “the room” anymore. I’d step on the ice and I no longer felt the exhilaration of gliding about with speed, the feeling of nailing a puck top-shelf and of battling, sometimes in anger, with other players — I used to live for all these things, even the bulging hockey bag!
“Used to.” I couldn’t put my finger on why this happened especially after the horrible team bus crash in April 2018 that claimed so many lives. That crash really upset me so I dug deeper to see why. I posted those thoughts on Instagram.
This week it came clear: I saw the game changing because Canadian culture is changing and, bluntly, I don’t respect or support what I see.
My parents are immigrants but I was born in Winnipeg, Canada and grew up in/near Brandon. Part of me is a prairie boy at heart so I understand Don Cherry’s language. I subscribe to the wisdom to “respect my elders” because they have the benefit of life experience, which cannot be taught. Over the years I’ve come to see the truth in this wisdom. I see wisdom in Don’s commentary. I also see crassness and foolishness but that does not negate the wisdom. Don Cherry and those like him are what made Canada — and America — two of the best places to live in human history.
I rarely listened to Coach’s Corner anymore because I mostly disagree with Don’s hockey analysis — and I’ve heard it a thousand times. However, I love(d) Coaches Corner because it was an anchor to the past, but mostly I just love that Don is honest and real and stands by his words.
I’ve also been honored to see Ron Maclean in real life — I still respect him, too. If it was me, I would have stood with Don, I always stand with my brothers and sisters but I’m not Ron. Don says they’re still friends — he “gets it”. Please stop hating on Ron, he’s not the enemy, and I know this is his worst nightmare. But back to my story.
Early last winter, after three skates, I couldn’t do it anymore — I stopped playing hockey. I’ve wrestled with that decision ever since.
Last week, a great guy and best buddy gave me a hockey stick to encourage me to start playing again. The week before another hockey buddy, who also “gets it”, saw me at a restaurant and came over to see where I’d been. He said the guys wondered where I was, why was I not coming out? Was I injured? Today I apologize to my two buddies and all the guys and gals who get what being “in the room” means; I’m so sorry, I just can’t do it.
I was moved so I (honestly) told both of them I’d be out in the next week or so — but after a few days something still didn’t feel right. Then Don got fired for upholding his principles. It was only a matter of time. In present Canada fear usually wins.
Yes, a big part of me is hurt — hurt by what I see happening to Canada and, indeed, western culture.
Closer to home, part of me was hurt by what I was hearing from people who I played with but don’t “get the game”. I don’t want to be around people like that — they bring me down. Those guys ruined the game for me and sooner or later, they will drum me out just like they did to Don Cherry. I won’t give them the satisfaction.
Don Cherry is a hero to me because he didn’t back down or apologize (for being misunderstood). The people being honored on Remembrance Day/Veteran’s Day — those from WWII are called the Greatest Generation — gave their lives for freedom, including the freedom of speech. They would have understood what Don said and many would have held racist opinions. Those were different times but I stand with them even if they hate me for the race of the body I’m blessed with. Ignorance is not punishable.
This is coming from someone who has been called nigger. It’s a word, and words can hurt, but only if you let them— each of us have freedom to choose. So no, the label “nigger” doesn’t hurt me and neither does the Confederate flag or a swastika. They are only symbols and you are free to choose to see what you want. You do not have the right, or freedom to impose those views, no matter how virtuous you feel they are, on others.
So, yes, this honorable blackface — it knows racism and I can say, categorically, Don Cherry is not a racist. Period.
I uphold the racists’ right to free speech because any other way is censorship — a tool of the Third Reich and every other authoritarian regime. One must take the good with the bad and stay the course — life is a struggle, without which there is only death. I embrace the struggle, the good life isn’t easy… and make no mistake, “easy” is no virtue.
Banning/censoring something just gives power to that with which one wishes to eliminate. For example, I saw more Confederate flags after it was banned. What does a racist say to me if they know I’m not bothered by the “n-word” and I like the Confederate flag? I’ve just taken their power — they gave it to me and I don’t want it because they need it — we all need it — to live, it’s called life force.
But they can have their power back — by sitting down with me to discuss why they hate the form I have. I’ve had this discussion a handful of times in this life and every time the “racist” turns out to be someone who is simply ignorant and fearful. One guy even told me that he changed his mind and now “likes my race” — I hugged that guy!
One less racist in the world and I didn’t need to ban anything — I shed light where the was only darkness so the power could be used for good. Love wins every time — incidentally, this is the message from the most famous of humans who is, not surprisingly, mostly ignored and ridiculed in Canada. How long will it be before His image is stripped from sight and religions lose charitable status or are “silenced”? People are even being called-out for praying — that’s happening!
I told my hockey buds that I’d come back and join them but, it turns out, I can’t do it. This is much worse than being labelled by fearful ignoramuses. I can deal with a racist but I can’t deal with people who think nothing of destroying a person because they judge based on something as fake and hollow as newspeak. The game I loved is being changed by newspeak — political correctness and progressive/leftist/whatever-they-call-themselves-today authoritarian bigotry — and I won’t submit.
So all I can do is hang up my skates and find something else to do… something that won’t (at least right now) offend those with skins so thin they are transparent as air. This life is too precious to me to waste fighting opinions that aren’t worth a handful of sand. Besides, unlike the racists that I’ve encountered, people who subscribe to newspeak aren’t interested in discussions — just ask another Jordan Peterson, et. al.
I proudly stand with Don Cherry and everyone else who “gets it.” Good-bye hockey, I wish you well!
