The Art of Self-Deprecation

It’s a great thing to be able to laugh at your own mistakes and shortcomings. In fact, I can appreciate someone with a natural self-deprecating sense of humour. It tells me that they’re not snobby, they can look at the larger scheme of things and most importantly, they don’t take themselves too seriously.

I tend to self-deprecate to moderate other people’s expectations of myself (and of course, for the laughs). It’s a more palatable form of modesty than most. Unfortunately, I think I’ve unknowingly hurt others in the process of being traditionally modest by being insensitive and unconsciously humble-bragging, but self-deprecating seems almost harmless in that aspect.

One situation where I think this self-deprecating thing doesn’t work is probably when someone is gives you compliments. I learnt this the hard way — when someone praises you, the only two acceptable words should be ‘thank you’. To point out your flaws when someone else chooses to notice your strengths is a rather blatant form of insulting the other person’s perception. Lots of people I know tend to do this (societal pressure to rebuke compliments?) and this is one obvious situation where self-deprecation backfires badly.

But how does one manage this ability to self-deprecate without compromising on one’s self-esteem? I’ve always felt that the occasional throwaway comment is fine, but people who constantly revert to such remarks probably struggle with themselves quite a bit. Despite this, I don’t foresee my self-confidence taking a boost anytime soon so this seems like a pretty good way to cope with it without being toooooo unhealthy.