Thoughts Out Loud
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Thoughts Out Loud

Have You Experienced a Conscious ‘Out of Body’ Type Self?

Do you ever look at yourself in the mirror or see pictures of yourself and think “wow is this the shell the world sees and associates me with?”

Photo by Andre Mouton on Unsplash

This Outer Shell

A lot of who we are and how we are respected is tied to this outer shell we present to the world.

We present our shell in the way we want to present it. The presentation is based on the clothes we wear, the cosmetics we choose, the shoes and accessories we have on to the hair cuts we get.

It’s said first impressions are very important but what are first impressions based on? They’re based on our appearance. Great importance is given to our appearance but I don’t think it should determine who we are.

Don’t you ever look at your physical appearance — this outer shell that is suppose to be “you” and think “hmm this isn’t me? It’s a soul or spirit versus the body type of feeling.

Feeling Detached

I look at myself sometimes & feel detached from it. This reflection I see doesn’t feel like it’s me. A sort of ‘out of body’ experience.

Some days I feel great because my inner self is at peace but others don’t seem to see that. They are either neutral or show a complete disregard for my presence.

Other days I’m feeling like utter crap but people are constantly complimenting me claiming I look amazing. When I look in the mirror I don’t see it because there is this dissonance between the inner self and my outer appearance.

Photo by Erik Mclean on Unsplash

Just A Car

This body, my physical appearance is just a car that’s driving this spirit of mine around or the real me. The real me is my character, my values, the battles I’ve overcome, my thought processes, my insecurities, my interests and so on.

We are spiritual beings in a physical body. Our spiritual essence is the passenger driving the car and the car is our physical body. We drive this car for a life time until it no longer works anymore — the engine shuts down.

Society gives so much importance to this car we drive. The car is considered either conventionally attractive or not depending on passengers in other cars passing by because are all passengers in our own unique cars after all.

When It’s Time

When the engine shuts down, it’s time. All we are left with are ashes. Dust. It’s all gone.

I had a best friend in high school who paid great attention to his appearance. He was a good looking guy. He had the nicest hair cuts, wore colored contacts, bought nice clothes and loved the attention he was getting from girls.

Then one day just like that he was gone. He was murdered. At his funeral he didn’t even look like himself. He was so unrecognizable that ’til date I like to believe he ran away and that was someone else’s physical body lying there at the funeral viewing. (Also this was something I said to myself to cope with the loss.)

His body was cremated. Losing him was my first and only experience losing a loved one. After cremation his physical body just became ashes, that’s all that was left of him. I thought to myself: “What was point of him caring so much about his looks?”

Photo by Kevin Hendersen on Unsplash

Judgment

He died in gang violence so people who didn’t know him judged him based on his appearance claiming “look at the guy of course it’s gang violence,” but I knew him and I knew he was truly a soft caring giving soul who was present at the wrong place at the wrong time.

His outer shell didn’t match his spirit but it was judged anyway for how he chose to present himself to society.

Where Does It go?

Where does the real us go? Our spirit — where does it go? Does it even matter?

Insecurities on how we look are senseless. The vanity, the ego boost derived from the pleasure we get from glances and compliments are senseless. It’s all temporary.

I’m not saying one shouldn’t feel confident or insecure. Of course I get an ego boost when I get compliments just like how I have terribly insecure days about my appearance too. That’s okay, we shouldn’t fight it. I’m saying we shouldn’t let both sides of the spectrum consume us.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Does it matter?

The need to fit a prototype image of what the media sets for us as “ideal” shouldn’t control you.

These days I see all these females on Instagram with the same look — botox, lip injections, heavy makeup and body proportions that are unnatural because it’s achieved through implants.

Everyone is trying to look like the Kardashians when even they don’t even look like themselves anymore. I am a firm believer in staying natural. Why try to be copies of one another when we can focus on embracing and enhancing our own unique features?

Remind Yourself

My insecurities and highs based on how my appearance is perceived doesn’t represent what truly feels like is me. It’s important for me to remind myself to step out of it, to step back and connect with my soul.

Don’t hurt your spirit caring too much about the physical because there is no point when this physical body will just decay one day. Don’t forget to truly live and be present when chasing temporary highs to feed the ego. It’s the ego that cares.

Confidence is vital but don’t solely attach it to your physical appearance. Love the way you look but love the life you are living more.

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