Diagnosed with Adult ADHD
This is my story of not getting my Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) diagnosed until college, the process I went through, and what has changed after a diagnosis.
In elementary school, there were a handful of signs that could’ve prompted an earlier ADHD diagnosis. I would have trouble waiting my turn to speak, blurting out the first thing on my mind. In fourth grade, my teacher often reminded me “Alexis, remember your filter”. Sometimes, I would stand up in my seat and spin around, having a hard time staying still. I was often tapping, shaking, folding, and toying with the different writing tools in my pencil box. I didn’t struggle with academics at the time — in fact, I excelled. I was put into my school's Gifted and Talented Education (GATE) program and often received full marks for my work.
I find it problematic that an important factor in recognizing ADHD in children is struggling with academics. This could cause teachers and parents to overlook the possibility of their child having ADHD.
It was not until middle school when I became required to attend court-mandated counseling for my parent’s divorce (which happened when I was 5) that someone gave me a pre-diagnosis for ADHD. I didn’t know about this pre-diagnosis at the time (or if I was told, I completely forgot about it), and only learned about it when I started talking to my father about about the accomodations I could receive with an ADHD diagnosis. I had to call up my counselor and asked if she could fax my college’s disability services department a statement on my treatment at the time. Apparently, this pre-diagnosis never progressed because my mom said that I was perfect and there couldn’t possibly be anything wrong with me.
In college, I really started to struggle with my classwork. I was still receiving high marks, never getting a single C while in college, but I felt like I was spending an obscene amount of time on all assignments. It took me about three times longer than my peers to complete the same assignment. I started a conversation with my school’s disability services department to see what it would take to get tested for ADHD and joined the school’s waitlist to get tested for free.
Using a letter from my middle school counselor and her pre-diagnosis for me, I was able to receive academic accommodations for my second semester at college. My accommodations included 1.5x time on exams, breaks during class, and audio versions of my textbooks. At first, though, I didn’t use my accommodations — I felt like I was taking the easy way out. After my neuroscience teacher told me “It’s not taking the easy way out… it’s leveling the playing field”, I started to use my accommodations — primarily, the extra time on exams.
The extra exam time was a blessing. Often, I didn’t need the extra time and found the usual allotted time to be enough, but sometimes, I couldn’t get my gears turning until the very end, struggling to reach a solution for the problems in front of me. I also took the exam in a private room in the library where I was given soundproof headphones and a small plastic clock to keep track of the time. Being in an environment with little to no distractions really helped me stay on task when taking exams.
In my third year at college, I felt like school was getting particularly hard. The extra time on exams didn’t feel like enough. I started looking into getting tested for ADHD with my primary care medical provider and found out I could get tested relatively soon — in about a month or so. I discussed doing this with my school and they happened to let me know that I was next on the waiting list and could test immediately. (I thought it was a bit funny that they happened to let me know at the same time I brought up getting tested outside of school, but I accepted that as a coincidence).
I ended up testing with someone who I was pretty sure was a medical student, training to work with students on cases like mine. She had me do some computerized tests that were gamified and I found them to be really easy, not at all indicating signs of ADHD. She ended up telling her supervisor that these tests don’t work well for me since I’m an avid gamer and make my own video games in my free time. It was easy to focus on something I enjoyed doing.
After doing a few of the typical ADHD tests with little indication of my ADHD, it was decided that I was going to take an achievement test and an ability test (AKA an IQ test). This way, they would be able to compare what I was currently achieving against my full ability/potential. I didn’t know I was taking an achievement or ability test beforehand but was told to get lots of sleep the days prior. Unfortunately, taking these tests was when I was practicing a polyphasic sleep schedule where I slept four hours a night and took two twenty-minute naps during the day. I ended up scoring about the top 2% in all categories except processing speed for my IQ test. Processing speed landed at the top 9%, putting my IQ at the top 6% of my peers. We think the drop in processing speed is due to my sleep deprivation at the time as I fell asleep not once, but TWICE during the test. It’s more typical to see the category percentages fall around the same score, rather than seeing a steep drop. My achievement test determined that I was achieving 16% below my ability, which was enough of dissonance to diagnose me for ADHD.
Even though the initial tests didn’t work out, I’m glad they continued with further testing because I turned out to be a “rare” case due to my high ability score. They weren’t just testing me until I got an answer that I liked/expected; there were apparent signs in my behavior that qualified me for the diagnosis.
After the diagnosis, I found the prescription to be incredibly helpful in managing my symptoms. When I took the stimulants, it felt like the days where I consumed coffee in excess to help me focus. I was happy to no longer have to drink 3+ coffees a day to study and get my work done. I lost a bit of weight, but I was a hair overweight at the time. I also developed a different relationship with food. Because Adderall suppresses appetite, I felt like I didn’t have to eat as much, but still ate the essential amount of meals a day. Often, I would eat just to eat — because I was bored or upset.
Focusing for longer periods of time became a lot easier after taking Adderall. Adderall isn’t the magic drug that solves all of my ADHD symptoms though. I need to be in a good environment free of distractions in order to tackle work and study. I would often forget to take my Adderall and then feel like I can’t take it later in the day to get more work done because it would inhibit sleep. Due to this though, I haven’t developed a strong dependence or tolerance to it.
Getting the diagnosis was a huge relief to me. I had always felt that my brain worked a bit differently than my peers but never knew why. The diagnosis confirmed the suspicions I had for a long time and honestly, it felt very validating to know that there was something going on there.
Finally, I don’t think having ADHD is a negative; in fact, I think it’s fun and entertaining to think a bit differently than someone without ADHD. I don’t intend to belittle anyone who struggles with ADHD; it can be terribly difficult to do anything daily life requires of one. My journey itself was full of frustration and discovery. It took me years to grow and adapt and find methods that worked to keep my symptoms in check. Despite the drawbacks, I think there are benefits that aren’t often recognized. I’ll save my thoughts on the benefits of ADHD for another post as well as my personal methods to manage ADHD symptoms and link them once they are published.
