The Weird Dating Habits of Crows

An avian love story that tests the limits of our human need to anthropomorphise in order to empathize.

Grace and Ollie were a bit sad. It was summer, and they had not yet given birth. So they went to a cornfield to play hide and seek, thinking it would ease their spirits and restore their playfulness. But the corn was too tall, and Grace lost Ollie somewhere in the rows, and although she searched and screamed, she eventually returned home alone.

But Grace did feel better for having played in the corn.

In the new season without Ollie, Grace picked up another Ollie, but this Ollie’s name was Sam. Grace enjoyed being with Sam because he introduced her to the sea. One day, both of them went to the sea and had such a good time. When they were ready to leave, however, Sam spied a very large boat that was going to sail down to Baltimore, which he thought was nice; he’d never been. He said goodbye to Grace and left with the boat to Baltimore.

Grace returned home, a bit sad for having lost Sam.

On her way, Grace met Chu, who was also alone. They went to Grace’s home and stayed together until winter came. When it came with snow and frost, Grace was happier. She wanted nothing more than to play in the snow. Unfortunately, Chu became sad. He missed the summer warmth.

Chu rested sullenly while Grace played in the snow. Soon she was joined by Angela. Grace had known Angela for a while. In fact, they were sisters. They enjoyed themselves, even amiably invited Chu to join, but he wouldn’t. He indicated he was hungry, so Angela, a bit tired herself, went to check on him.

Grace, meanwhile, found a small metal ring under the snow. It was bright and shiny. She pushed it around a bit, played with it. It was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen. She picked it up to bring home, but when she returned, she saw Chu and Angela, cozied up. They had decided to be together, and there was no room for Grace.

Grace still had her ring, however, which made her happy.

Grace left, with her ring, and searched and searched until she found a new spot on which she could make a home. While she was digging in, the ring kept slipping. Unsure what to do, she took a bite of snow and pushed the ring under it. She was thirsty, but the snow helped, somewhat. She finished her home before it got dark and then fetched her ring.

Grace tucked the ring into the nest and was quite satisfied. She had her health, a perfect home, and now a ring. Offspring would only be a matter of time, come spring.

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