So SEAT’s Cupra 280 laps the ‘Ring faster

The Jaguar XKR-S Convertible, the Chevrolet Corvette C-6, the Porsche 911 Carrera S (*Cough* Beetle *cough cough*) and the Mercedes C63 AMG. Wondering what all these thoroughbred supercars have in common? Well, for one they have all completed a lap of Nordschleife in under 8 minutes, they all are in the top 100 production cars to have ever lapped the ‘Ring, and they are all at least a second (if not more) slower than a SEAT. Yes. SEAT. The car company, whose name spells out what the English language would define as “ a place to sit”, have built a car that laps the ring in under the 8 mins, the Cupra R.

Which was all fine and dandy, until Renault’s Trophy-R hatchback went and beat it by a staggering four seconds. Which, let me be the first one to say, for two front wheel drive cars with less than 300bhp is in-freaking-sanity. SEAT didn’t take this well, so they went back home and decided to fix this, by building a bigger, better Cupra R. Unfortunately the project plans got in after lunch time, and being Spain, all the engineers at SEAT were out on their afternoon siesta, which is way more important. So the job of building a the “faster” Cupra was left to a man named Miguel, the janitor.

So Miguel drew inspiration from supercar legends like Lamborghini, Ferrari and Porsche and decided to abide by the very sanguine less-is-more principle. He proceeded to throw everything away, including the climate control, four of the eight speakers, centre console, arm-rests, and the underseat storage boxes. When the engineers returned to finish up what Miguel had started, they added lightweight multi-spoke 19” alloy wheels (in black or orange), 30mm larger brake discs with Brembo calipers, and decided their work was done. Thus, SEATs fastest ever Cupra R was born, “the Ultimate Sub8 Performance Pack” (’cause they lapped the ring in under 8 mins, genius). For some more money, SEAT will also throw in a set of Michelin Pilot tyres.

This may have made a larger splash if they had actually managed to beat Renault, but it is still a massive achievement, considering that the car with the “Ultimate Sub8 Performance Pack” is cheaper than the Megane Trophy-R (about fifty thousand Indian rupees cheaper, if you really care). I may have said this in the past; manufacturers get extremely caught up with their ‘Ring times, and then end up entirely ruining a perfectly fine car, case in point the Vaxhaul Corsa VXR and a few ridiculous special edition Porsches. Who cares if the “ultimate” package goes four seconds faster around the ring, I still want my climate control, speakers and underseat storage. Here’s my suggestion, if you want to set times at the ring, go buy a formula car. If you do, however, want to get a nice hot-hatch for the road, you could consider the standard Seat Cupra-R or the Megane Trophy-R Cup (if money is not an issue).