15 Truths About Self-Love We All Need To Remember
Self-love is about more than bubble baths. Self-love is about the way you view yourself, speak to yourself, treat yourself, and the dreams you have for your life. Here are 15 truths about self-love we all need to remember.
1. You are inherently enough.
There is a common myth in society that we have to earn or prove our worth by ticking off a certain number of external achievements — like having a large house, successful career, impressive partner and acceptable body shape.
The truth is your worth is innate — you were born enough. You are a soul of divine origins and you can never be anything less than that. You did not come here to prove — you came here to play and laugh and love and learn and express and rise and create your wildest dreams. Have fun!
2. Comparison is a waste of energy.
Comparison misses the whole point of your life — to be you. To be the unique once-in-humankind blend of gifts, passions, interests, quirks and magic that you are.
Comparison feels bad because it is out of alignment the truth — that we are incomparable. We are all valuable and shine in our own way — like diamonds and sapphires and rubies.
3. It makes sense to focus on your strengths.
You get more of what you focus on — so instead of focusing on your flaws and imperfections, focus on your gifts and strengths. Focus on what you do well, instead of only noticing what you do wrong.
Replace self-criticism with praise and acknowledge, and not only will your confidence grow, but you will blossom into your full potential, because flowers bloom best with nourishment and love, not judgment.
4. You are not your past.
The philosopher Heraclitus once said: “You never bathe in the same river twice, because it’s never the same river and it’s never the same you.”
In other words, you are a totally different person to who you were 10 minutes ago, let alone 10 years ago — your cells are regenerating, you are breathing fresh oxygen, and you are wiser from your experiences. So you are never the same you.
This means that your past does not define you — because in every moment you are a new person. When you forgive your past you are free to become who you desire to be and live the life you were born to live.
5. Self-care is not selfish; it is essential.
When you get so busy with to-do lists and work and giving to others that you forget to make time for self-care and pleasure, your cup is going to run dry and then you have nothing left for anyone — for you, your loved ones or the world.
When you make time in your day and week to fill your cup — with a morning or evening ritual, doing the things you love, and small acts of self-care — then your cup will be overflowing with love, joy, creativity and inspiration.
You also need time alone with your soul — instead of only checking in with Facebook and friends, check in with yourself to see how YOU are doing. What are your dreams? What are the emotional wounds you need to work through? Get to know yourself to find your purpose and path.
6. You are not your thoughts.
We all have a voice in our head that tells us that we are not good enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, not charismatic enough, and points out our flaws and mistakes.
The good news is — you are not your thoughts. You are the observer of your thoughts. Your thoughts come and go like passing clouds in the sky but you remain. This means you are above or separate to your thoughts.
This means you can observe them without taking them so seriously. You can choose not to believe your self-critical thoughts.
7. Create empowering self-talk because you are listening.
As well as mindfully observing your self-critical thoughts without believing them, you can also cultivate supportive and empowering self-talk. You can encourage yourself with kind words, a positive mindset and affirmations.
Your self-talk matters because YOU are listening to it — and it has an impact on the way you see yourself and what you believe you are capable of.
As Oprah says: “Create the highest grandest vision possible for your life, because you become what you believe”.
8. You deserve your own compassion.
The same way that you feel kindness and compassion for other people when they are sad or afraid or feeling self-critical, you deserve your own self-love and compassion.
When you feel less than your best — sad, hurt or afraid — instead of reacting with frustration or judgment, respond with love and comfort. Be there for yourself like you would be there for a child in need. Because it is your inner child who needs you in that moment.
9. You are not your body.
Your body is a beautiful and precious temple for your soul. It is also a gift that lets you adventure on earth and dance and love and create and play.
So instead of focusing on your flaws or imperfections, begin to appreciate your body and treat it with love and respect. Nourish it with good foods and movement. Treat it like a temple.
10. You are not what others think of you.
You couldn’t possibly be what others think of you — because everyone has a different opinion of you. Everyone is also viewing the world through their own beliefs and past experiences — so their opinion of you might not be even close to the truth.
So instead of seeking approval from others in order to feel like enough, begin to approve of yourself. When you accept yourself, you no longer need the acceptance of others because you already know you are enough.
11. You are worthy of your dreams.
Your desires were given to you for a reason — they are what the Universe wants to experience through you. You can trust in them and feel worthy of them because you are inherently worthy of love, happiness and success.
You can work on raising your worthiness every day in small ways — receive a compliment without deflecting it, upgrade the things in your life that make you feel less than your best, and remove yourself from relationships or jobs that do not serve you.
12. You have to love yourself first.
Many of us make the mistake of putting off self-love until some day in the future — we think when we get the loving partner, the perfect job, the bigger bank balance, or the weight loss, then we’ll love ourselves.
The truth is the world is a reflection of you — so if you want your reality to change, you have to rise first. Want love? You have to love yourself first. Want success? You have to own your gifts and worth and celebrate your successes today.
If you think you will love yourself once everything in your life falls into place — you have life backwards. Know that you need to love and accept yourself first, then everything can fall into place.
13. You are perfectly imperfect.
Many of us believe the myth that we have to fix ourselves or be perfect for seventeen days in a row in order to be enough.
The truth is that we are already perfect — we are divine souls — and yet we will always be imperfect as humans. This is the nature of being on earth.
I meditate, go to yoga, read philosophical texts, forgive, cook whole foods, write and keep our apartment tidy.
I also eat too much peanut butter, scroll too much on Facebook, procrastinate, judge myself and others, go more than a week without washing my hair, have stretch marks, cry a lot, and binge eat carrots when I’m stressed.
I am a divine magical soul and the core of my being is pure love — and I am a human with challenges and imperfections.
You can want to work on yourself and improve — and still feel like you are okay now.
As the Buddha said: “We are all perfect just as we are, and we could all use a little work.”
14. Self-love is essential for your life.
Many of us dismiss self-love as cheesy or just not that important. We know we could do with more self-love but let this area of our life slide.
The truth is that self-love is essential to living your best life. Why?
Because you are the person you spend the most time with in this life, and you are the common factor in ALL areas of your life, so your relationship with yourself is going to have a huge impact on your quality of life.
Because self-love gives you the courage to believe in yourself and go after your wildest dreams.
Self-love radically increases your daily joy and happiness levels because let’s face it, it’s hard to feel good when you’re living with negative self-talk.
Self-love and worthiness empowered you to stop settling for less than you deserve, so the quality of your relationships improves.
And self-love gifts you a lifelong best friend, ally and supporter, which is priceless.
The truth is self-love matters and should be a key part of your daily life.
15. You are way more magical and magnificent then you know.
Do you know those moments where you catch a glimpse of your best self? You’re giving advice to a friend or watching a sunrise or dancing to a song you love or creating a painting and you feel tapped into your inner wisdom and power… it feels like you sparkle?
That is who you really are. You are not your flaws, your self-doubts, your bad moods, or the guilt you carry around.
You are a spark of the divine and your authentic nature and true potential is incredibly amazing.
This is what true self-love should be based on — knowing who you really are deep down below all the titles and roles.
When you get in touch with this part of yourself, you will discover the inner well of unconditional love and infinite worth that has been within you all along. Keep believing in your inner magic and you will find it.
Elyse is a writer, life coach and happiness teacher at NotesOnBliss.com. She teaches people to connect with their soul, create their dreams and expand their happiness. For updates and inspiration, sign up now.
Originally published at notesonbliss.com on June 9, 2017.