20 Things I’ve Learned in the Therapy Room About Motherhood

1. Mothers are one of, if not the most powerful and influential relationships a child can have.

2. Compassion for one’s mother is deeply experienced often after he/she has become a parent.

3. No matter what age a person is, during times of stress or life events, there is yearning for one’s mother.

4. Children do not see the flaws of their mothers the way a mother sees her own.

5. Contrary to belief, therapy is not about spending time rehashing childhood or complaining about one’s mother or father.

6. Children, as do mothers, have an enormous capacity to forgive.

7. Mothers have many roles: nurturer, protector, guide, teacher, nurse, counselor, chauffeur, activity coordinator and social director, to name a few.

8. Generally speaking, when a woman takes on the role of mother, it is one she never leaves or let’s go of, regardless of her children’s ages.

9. Mothers are human, make mistakes, carry guilt, and have regrets she will likely never share with her child, regardless of their age.

10. A mother will judge herself more harshly than her child will ever do.

11. A mother who has lost a child will always carry her child in her heart regardless of how much time has passed or how old she is.

12. A mother can struggle in motherhood and be frustrated with parts of being a parent and continue to love her child unconditionally.

13. As a child grows, so too does a mother.

14. A mother most always thinks of her child’s needs first before her own.

15. Mothers don’t love one child more than another. However, she may enjoy the company of, or find mothering easier with one child. This difference has nothing to do with love or preference.

16. In mothering, it’s almost impossible to treat children equally. However, most mothers strive to be fair.

17. The vast majority of mothers at some point in mothering will question her choices, decisions, and worry that she is failing at raising her family.

18. There is no one way to be a good mother.

19. When recalling memories, or life events, a mother and a child remember situations and details differently.

20. There is often no powerful love, protective love and unconditional love other than the love a mother has for her child.

© Copyright Dr. Claire Nicogossian 2017

Originally published at momswellbeing.com on May 22, 2017.