3 Boundaries I Recently Set Being A Woman In The Entertainment Industry
When Thrive Global sent a recent email asking about what boundaries do I set in my life, I knew I had to write. It was like they were reading my mind. Being a woman in this entertainment industry, I had to start drawing the line on when I would record and how many roles I would take at a time.
1. No recording with guys late at night.
Here lately, I had to explain myself: I’m not here for romance, I’m here to record music! I genuinely treat people the way I want to be treated, and several guys I’ve worked with has taken this as me liking them romantically.
NO.NO. NO. If you have a crush you will get over it I promise.
Important Side note: If I were single, and interested in someone, I wouldn’t hit on them in the studio anyways, that’s work time. I’d take my time to get to know them!! I have a boyfriend and I have to keep saying respect that boundary also. I do not mix business with pleasure. No kissy in the studio….
It’s getting to the point where I have to bring my girls with me to recording sessions. If it’s a guy I’m recording with I ask if they can bring their wife/sister/significant other.
What in the world would it look like recording with guys late at night? If something happens guess who gets blamed for it?
Exactly. If you don’t put yourself in the situation, you don’t have to worry about unwanted hanky panky or advances.
2. Do Not Blow Up My Phone Unless It’s An Emergency
You would think I wouldn’t have to write a paragraph like this, but I do. I have received 4, 5, 6 phone calls in an hour from some people. I look at my phone saying what in the (and you know the rest).
If I don’t answer the first time that means I can’t get to the phone. 1 or 2 texts/calls are good. Not 6 or 7.
3. Health Comes First
I recently had to have surgery and I have to be honest, my acting agencies has been awesome about it. Some of my music clans in Indiana? Not so much.
When you are hurting, you don’t care about a remix or a song. To wake up from that and to see texts on your phone asking you when you are gonna do this or when you going to do that after you told some one that you are/had surgery is frustrating.
If they found someone else to record the songs with? I would totally be cool with that. After all, they are free to move forward without me (and if they want me back we can talk about it). Believe it or not, I support them still and believe they will be successful with or without me there!
For every person that doesn’t accommodate you, there’s many that will. I have several projects that work around my health schedule that me and doctors agreed on. And my Miami, Florida musician friends have been very supportive and respectful of recording music with me during the day. Don’t let people force you into doing projects while having medical issues. And do what your comfortable with doing.
Don’t feel bad if you can’t do certain projects. Or have to have projects delayed. If they want you there, they will work with you. Tom Cruise’s project Impossible 6 was delayed after he broke his ankle. If they were really anxious and antsy about filming, they could have resumed without him. But they obviously wanted Cruise. Again, if they want you there, they will work with you and not run on the first sign of blood.
*Update: Since writing this, we learned that Julia Louis-Dreyfus has breast cancer. The producers of Veep stated that they are prepared to adjust production as necessary.
The next point I want to make?
When you go through a medical crisis, you don't need people hassling, judging, or talking about what you're not doing right. You need love, support and people to talk to. In my case, I have been accused of being uncommitted by music groups I’ve ran with in Indianapolis because I went to an doctor’s appointment instead. Or chose not to post hospital photos all over social media to prove to them that it’s real. Seriously? I’m very passionate about music and acting. Sometimes I have to slow my roll but that doesn’t mean I’m uncommitted. And sometimes posts are TMI.
I’ve ran into many people who are so insensitive about it because they don’t care and more concerned about making money. This is one boundary I will not fold on. I might talk about it in the future when I’m more comfortable. Selena Gomez, Lady Gaga, Lena Dunham, Julianne Hough, and Julia-Louis Dreyfus has me thinking about it more. Thanks ladies for sharing your stories.
What are your work/personal boundaries? I'd love to see your comments below!