33 Life Lessons I’ve Learned in the Past 33 Years

Some helpful and some not really helpful lessons from the life of a 33-year-old

James Kenichi
Sep 4, 2018 · 7 min read

I haven’t been alive for long, I have a lot of growing left, and many more life lessons to learn. That being said, reflecting on the past 33 years, I have learned a thing our two. I thought I would share a few of them with you.

Being woken up in the middle of the night. Not being about to really go out to eat and enjoy it for several years. Sacrificing your own time so you can take your kids to baseball practice, to the park, or on a bike ride. It’s hard. But there is nothing like having your kids throw their arms around your neck when you get home. Being a parent is tough, but it’s worth it!

Stop pursuing happiness. Happiness isn’t somewhere you will eventually get once you… (fill in the blank). It’s a state of mind. Choose to be happy now, no matter where you are in life.

I have spent thousands and thousands of dollars on education. I went to a combined 19 years of school. I have learned more by reading as many books as I could in the past few years than I did in all those years of “education.”

Malcolm X said, “People don’t realize how a man’s whole life can be changed by one book.” Go find that one book. You might just find a few more that change your life too.

We tend to think it’s the big moments that make the biggest impact on our lives, but we forget about all the little moments in between. I am talking about the smallest of moments. The time that doesn’t even count as moments, it just connects one moment to the next. What are you doing when you are waiting in line at Starbucks? How much mindless time are you spending on social media? Those minutes add up! Use them wisely.

The best advice for productivity is, “Go to sleep!” Prioritize it.

Our lives are full of “I wish,” or “If I only had the time.” I wish I had more time to read. I wish I could play the guitar. I wish I was a better writer. If I only had the time…

You know what is one thing we always make time for? Eating! I have never heard someone say, “If I only had the time to eat…” And you know what, I always have time for food (I know there are many people who struggle with poverty and lack of access to food. This is unacceptable and is a problem that needs to be addressed).

If you really want to do something, prioritize it like you do eating.

We live in a world that is pushing for more and more productivity. I am sure you can find a thousand articles and how you can be more productive. Productivity is great, but don’t forget to slow down. It’s ok to take a break. Watch some Netflix! The latest season of “Dear White People” was dope.

What motivates you? Why do you do what you do? You need to know what values you need to be addressing on a regular basis. For me, unhappiness can generally be traced back to the fact that I am neglecting one or more of my core values. Figure out what they are and take time to reflect on whether your daily actions align with them.

Mine are relationships, growth, creativity, health, contribution, faith, and authenticity.

It’s hard to be mad when you are dancing like a fool!

I have spent countless hours thinking about and searching for meaning and for myself. I have learned infinitely more about myself when I am serving and helping others.

Make changes that you can stick with. Diets may help you reach some short-term goal, but it’s sustainable changes that will help you live a healthy life.

There is no such thing as an overnight success. Things that matter take time, energy, and consistent practice. Earn the right to call yourself skilled at something.

Failing sucks. Being made fun of might be even worse. But the worst thing of all is looking back and think, “I wish I would have done…”

Take time to smile. Have fun. Don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself. We are all in this together and we are all making fools of ourselves!

Life is short. Your life matters. You can have a huge impact on the people around you. Don’t take that responsibility lightly.

I have never thought, “Man, I had too much sushi.”

Don’t feel guilty for doing something that you enjoy. Play and productivity aren’t mutually exclusive. Play and creativity overlap more than we realize.

When I was making $15,000 a year, I thought, “If I could only make $30,000 a year, then I would be happy.” Then I started making more and more money… but I wasn’t happier. If you were to double your income right now, would you be happier? Probably not. Figure out how to be happy now, money has very little to do with it.

It’s easy to say “no” or “not right now” to your kids or to the ones you love when they are asking you for simple things. “Can you read me a book dad?” “Can you play baseball with me?” Unless you have a good reason to say “no,” say “yes.” It has strengthened my relationships with the people that matter most to me and has made me a whole lot happier too.

There are a countless number of people, requests, or other things that fight for your attention. If you are not careful, you won’t have enough time and attention left for the things that do matter. Don’t be afraid to say “no.” Take the time to evaluate what is being asked of you and if it aligns with your core values. If it doesn’t, don’t do it.

All good things take time and attention. People are no different. Invest in relationships, because at the end of the day, that is one of the few things that will matter when we are gone.

Learning from the past and preparing for the future is important. But be careful. Don’t let those things crowd out the “right now.” The present moment is all we really have. Don’t waste it.

Having plans is great, but most the majority of the best things in my life were not planned for. Stay flexible.

“Follow your passion,” is the worst advice I have ever received. It makes the assumption that I have some predisposed passion that I just need to discover. I wasn’t born with a passion, and I wasted several years and thousands of dollars trying to find it. Passion isn’t found, passion is cultivated.

How do you want to live your life? What is the filter you can run all your life’s decisions through to make sure what you do is in line with who you want to be? Take time to think about that and try and come up with a short, memorable phrase that embodies it. Mine is, “Always be kinder than necessary.”

Life is tough. The world can be cruel. Don’t add to it. Be kind. In fact be kinder than you think is necessary. Kindness always pays off.

They are just comfortable. I don’t mess around with no “100% cotton” non-sense.

Death is inevitable for all of us. We are terminally ill in a way. But don’t let that thought scare you. Let it motivate you. Do things that matter. Be happy. Love harder. Feel more. Be present.

Stop being “busy.” Don’t be fooled by what seems urgent. Urgent does not always (actually in most cases doesn’t) mean important. Do what you can to make room for the things that are important and matter. You need to actively do it, because the truly important things rarely shout for your attention. They usually sit on the sideline waiting for you and when you have time. If you’re not careful, they might not be there when you are finally ready to give it the time.

I am a firm believer that there is no such thing as smart debt. There is debt that is less dumb and doesn’t suck as much, but in the end, it’s still debt and it sucks. Do whatever you can to stay out of debt. If you are buying something big, either wait till you can pay cash, or in the case of something like a house, put down as much as you can. Debt sucks!

Perfectionism is the enemy of creativity and learning. It’s ok if something isn’t perfect. In fact, nothing ever will be. Execute, learn, and then grow. Life is about growing, not being perfect.

I am not perfect and I will never be perfect. But I am trying my best and I am growing, and that is enough.

Gratitude is the secret weapon for a happy and successful life. Live with gratitude.


Follow me: Instagram |Twitter | Facebook

Thrive Global

More than living. Thriving.

James Kenichi

Written by

Husband. Father. Writer. Driven by insatiable curiosity and the joy of growth.

Thrive Global

More than living. Thriving.

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade