4 Reflections on Forgiveness

Forgiving is the first step to close a painful chapter. It’s not always easy, but it’s the ideal step to take to move on—with or without the person that hurt you. I do believe that if you don’t forgive, the bad karma will keep on following the person that caused you pain, and a negative energy will always linger above your head. But…

  1. Where is the limit? Where is the point where a person becomes unforgivable? Let’s leave out horrible crimes. I’m talking about people that hurt, screw up relationships and then want to go back. Everybody can make mistakes, but it’s also true that there is a breaking point.
  2. Like every other action, forgiveness has consequences because at the moment you forgive you are supposed to move on—but sometimes you can’t forget. In this case, are you sure that you forgave in the bottom of your heart? I do believe that trust is the most difficult thing to win back because the loss of it happens deep in your heart and you can’t control it.
  3. When you forgive someone, and you decide to keep him/her in your life, you have a fifty percent chance that the person will hurt you again. I have never been afraid of risking, but when you take a risk with the same person that caused you a lot of pain maybe you’re just hurting yourself. Maybe you don’t love yourself enough to say no. What if forgiveness after a big wound was just violence against yourself?
  4. Forgiveness is also about the way the guilty person apologizes. For the majority of people, it’s hard to say sorry with the heart. I think that the guilty person should simply say: “I misbehaved and I have no excuses. Please forgive me.” Maybe, in this case, it would be easier to forgive, but it’s more likely to happen that people find excuses to avoid taking full responsibility for their actions, so it doesn’t feel like an apology.

I don’t know if you are struggling to forgive someone, or you have to apologize—but I think that opening your heart and getting exposed with your wounds and mistakes is the key to forgiveness.