5 Big Lessons That I Learnt At Tony Robbins UPW — London 2017

Kathleen Kear
Thrive Global
Published in
5 min readMay 7, 2017

Something had to happen! My life had found a yearly pattern and it wasn’t good!

I’d create a wonderful goal and work really hard. I’d be full of buzz and excitement but every time something awful would happen, resulting in failure and each time it happened, it hit me harder and harder.

At 34 years old I couldn’t see any progress in my life over the previous 6 years, apart from always trying hard and always failing. I thought that I was an expert at bad luck, being let down and making terrible decisions!

I found myself relying more and more on Tony Robbins YouTube videos, podcasts and books and perhaps started the immersion process before I’d even seen the seminar advertised. Four, 12–15 hour days with Tony and his team!

The ticket was expensive and money was tight! Then there were all of the extras like accommodation, food and travelling.

Surely it would be impossible to find the money for this?

A sentence stuck with me from a podcast called ‘The Mentee’ with Geoff Woods. They discussed how clever our minds are and how we need to find a way to allow our minds to figure stuff out! Instead of having the reflex reaction of “I can’t afford this”, I asked the question “How can I afford this?”

My divorce was 5 years behind me, yet I was still holding onto my wedding rings and the only thing they served was sadness!

I sold my rings and bought the tickets! I used the little bit of money that I had saved on the train fare and a family friend offered to put me up for the week.

Changing the words “I can’t” to “How can I?” enabled me to attend UPW and now things are very different!

Here are the 5 big lessons that I learnt;

1 — Celebrate every little success!

The old me would finish a run and think “You were so slow today” or I’d finish a piece of writing and say “Useless, that took 3 hours! You’re not getting better, you’re getting worse!” I, like so many people, never looked at my wins, I never congratulated myself on my successes!

What does this teach my subconscious and my nervous system? Achievements equal punishment.

Making this change has been a funny process! It doesn’t come naturally to me but one day it will become a habit! I’m now teaching myself to notice when I succeed with something, even if it’s small. I’ll shout, dance around and do whatever it takes to feel good! I now celebrate every single day!

2 — Freedom from the past

I learnt to become free of negative thoughts about the past. I think that most of us could linger on areas of the past and feel guilt, sadness or loss.

Now I’m free of it! It wasn’t something that I’d considered to be possible. The seminar is a total immersion process. Reading, watching and listening is brilliant but nothing could be as effective as total immersion! 12–15 hour day with 10,500 people, all determined to make a change!

I can look back at my miscarriages with enormous gratitude that I had the incredible experience of those months of pregnancy. I can look back at times when friends have really hurt me and genuinely feel grateful that they showed me what their values really are. I don’t hold any sad thoughts of the past in my mind for more than a few moments and when I do, they don’t even seem sad anymore. Now is where I want to be and it was this seminar that brought me into the now!

3 — The removal of the stories my human brain had created about my future!

Without realising it, I’d set boundaries which had prevented me from taking that next step in my fitness, nutrition, finances and relationships! This is a common issue and I hear it in others regularly. “I can’t run”, “I’m not a good writer”, “I’ll always be struggling for cash”.

My stories included “I will always snack on sugary food”, “I’m never going to have a more than one or two friends that love me”, “I won’t ever have children”, “Every big dream will fail”.

My job now is to ensure that I continue to recognise my thoughts and not fall into creating stories filled with limiting beliefs.

4 — How to create my own energy

I’ve heard lots of statements in the past that have irritated me “Just be positive”, “The glass is half full, not half empty”, “Happiness comes from within”.

The last one I agree with but the mystery was how? How do you create spark, energy and joy without something external there? Sometimes those feelings would magically appear and sometimes others would create them in me but what about the evenings when I was tired or times that I felt sad or low?

The answer unveiled itself at the seminar.

I can cry at the thought of one day losing my parents but the opposite of that is also true!

Tony teaches how to create your own ‘state’ through language, focus and movement.

When my energy is low, I lack inspiration or I want to prepare for something I look to those three things and so far it’s worked every time! I jump, I dance, I shout and I sing. I play music loud and I use language that snaps me into the right state!

In a seminar with 10,500 people it’s a lot easier. I found myself feeding off their energy as well as creating my own but now, even if I’m on my own, I can create that fire!

5 — The power of people

UPW reminded me of the power of surrounding yourself with the right people. I hugged, high fived and talked to hundreds of people. They travelled from 63 countries and all wanted to learn. The thing that stood out though was the total honesty that people spoke with. They talked openly about limiting beliefs, goals, dreams, problems, past struggles and what they really wanted. They held me accountable, they inspired new levels of self belief and were full of ideas!

These were my people, fired up, honest souls, determined to make a difference!

While at UPW I learnt more than I could ever squeeze into this blog but the difference with this learning was that it was embedded into me. It will take work to keep it there but this seminar has brought me back to me! I feel whole again! UPW is a life changing experience and I would encourage anyone who cares about personal development to take that incredible leap too!

Originally published at www.imustnow.com on May 7, 2017.

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Kathleen Kear
Thrive Global

Writer, feminist, equine manager, fundraiser for the Mariposa Trust. Passionate and determined human.