An Emotional Healing Expert shares how to keep calm while sorting out a financial mess!
What emotions are coming up for you when you are sitting down to do your taxes or pay your bills? Do you feel calm and centered or are you like the majority of people, feeling overwhelmed, worrisome and helpless?
One of the areas in life where I used to stress the most were my finances! I used to have terrible anxiety around looking at my bank account and felt like I always needed more money and should spend less. This left me feeling unsafe and like the next money bomb was about to drop.
I have been working on my relationship with money for many years now and it has improved a lot! I went from freaking out at the thought of needing to handle money to saving up and always having more than enough.
If you are ready to break the cycle of despair in your finances too, here are some tips that will help you turn your money story around:
1 Commit to building a relationship with money
Money is an energy that wants to show up for you and support you in living a full and beautiful life. Before doing anything else to change your relationship to money, make the conscious choice to spend quality time with money, so that you can start working together and eventually become friends!
Also, energy flows where attention goes, so make sure to spend more time handling money, looking at your finances and journaling about it!
Just like deepening your friendships, the more time you spend together, the more you will bond and start working together, as opposed to against each other!
2 Simply breathe and stay
Most people who tend to freak out around money fall into one of two camps: They either ignore it or obsess about it. Which camp do you fall into?
Whenever you are handling money and painful thoughts or emotions come up, set the intention to just stay and breathe. You don’t have to change anything just yet, simply break the cycle of ignoring it or obsessing over it!
The more you practice staying with your feelings and breathing into the discomfort, the more your nervous system will relax and you will be able to manage your finances in a more grounded and clear way!
3 Know your numbers
Many people who come to me for money coaching tell me they think they need more or that it feels like money is always running through their fingers.
If your finances seem out of control, there is a good chance that you have no idea how much money you actually make, spend and need! If you don’t know your numbers, how can you know where your money goes and what actions you need to take?
As painful and embarrassing at it might feel, give yourself the gift of knowing your numbers! If you know what’s going on, you can find ways to get into a state of healthy money flow.
4 Learn about your family history
Your own experiences definitely influence how you relate to money, but even more so your family’s traumatic experiences! There are up to eight generations of patterns and trauma stored in your DNA which you might be unconsciously playing out.
This is why big events like wars, moves, traumatic experiences, difficult births and other instances where the natural flow of life was interrupted, play a huge part in our money stories.
When I first learned about this, a huge weight fell off my shoulders. My grandparents were refugees in WW2 and my Mom has experienced lots of trauma in her life. No wonder I have always been struggling with money!
Through receiving Family Constellation Therapy, I was able to heal the trauma in my family system and break the patterns that have been running my relationship to money.
5 Push a little, then acclimate
It is very easy to compare yourself to others and to want to double, triple or quadruple your income. Who doesn’t want that, right?
The downside to having sudden massive surges of income is that it can cause your psyche to freak out and to want to lose the money as fast as possible. I found that pushing myself just a little each month and growing in a steady way over time is much easier than jumping from A to Z.
Every small step that you take right now will influence your finances in the future. Don’t get overwhelmed, simply push a little and then take some time to acclimate to your growth!