Image for post
Image for post

Why You’re Not Owning Your Decisions And How You Can Start Now

Francesca Phillips
Sep 25, 2017 · 12 min read

What To Expect

Why We Struggle

“When we don’t listen to our intuition, we abandon our souls. And we abandon our souls because we are afraid if we don’t, others will abandon us. We’ve been raised to question what we know to discount and discredit the authority of our gut.” Terry Tempest Williams in When Women Were Birds

Obsessive Asking For Advice or Approval

“When your sense of pleasure and satisfaction are derived from the opinions of other people, you are no longer the master of your own happiness. When emotionally intelligent people feel good about something that they’ve done, they won’t let anyone’s opinions or snide remarks take that away from them.” — Travis Bradberry on Entrepreneur.com

“What I was really telling myself is that my opinion didn’t matter. I valued other people’s opinions far above my own. I disowned myself. Somewhere in my mind, I thought that they must have known better. After all, what in the world could I know?” — Esther Bautista

Living Like a ‘Child-Adult’

Acting Like a Victim

“If we tell our story in a way that disempowers us we won’t know that we matter even in the midst of the story” — Iyanla Vanzant

Image for post
Image for post

How To Deal

“Confidence is a funny thing. You go out and do the thing you’re most terrified of, and the confidence comes afterward.” –Christopher Kaminski

1. Figure out WHY you’re feeling guilt or fear.

2. Create a system.

“What you need is a system. You need to know, before a decision confronts you, how you’ll deal with it. You need a set of rules and ideas that will help you get your ideas in order — efficiently and effectively.” — Kate Matsudaira and Kate Stull

“It’s like having an emergency plan. You have to decide how you’ll deal with a crazy situation *before* you get into it, because when you are dealing with an emergency or making a decision on the fly, your immediate needs and fears typically cause you to make choices you wouldn’t have made if you were thinking a bit more long term.” — Kate Matsudaira and Kate Stull

3. Be willing, not perfect.

Image for post
Image for post

“To thine own self be true.” ~William Shakespeare

God isn’t done with you because you said no.

4. Make Sure You’re Not Owning Other People’s Issues

“You are responsible for what you say and do. You are not responsible for whether or not people freak out about it…What other people think about you has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.” — Jen Sincero

5. Become Mindful

“Meditation is one of the best ways to learn what your mind is like in silence so that way you learn when your anxiety is present.” — Simon Sinek

Conclusion

Take Away


Thrive Global

More than living. Thriving.

Thanks to Stella J. McKenna

Francesca Phillips

Written by

Simplifying mindfulness, productivity, and spirituality so you can live an inspired and energized life. BA in Psychology. Entrepreneur. findyourgoodspace.com.

Thrive Global

More than living. Thriving.

Francesca Phillips

Written by

Simplifying mindfulness, productivity, and spirituality so you can live an inspired and energized life. BA in Psychology. Entrepreneur. findyourgoodspace.com.

Thrive Global

More than living. Thriving.

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch

Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore

Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store