A moment of butterflies and fireworks

Having been married; and dated both pre and post marriage, through my twenties and thirties; I thought I knew what to expect from the world of romantic connections. I thought I knew how I would feel, and at which point those feelings would come. In my mind, this was meant to be predictable. How I felt, when I felt it and the journey those feelings would take me on were, at least in my mind, supposed to follow a pre-scripted pattern. Anything that seemed unscripted only happened in romantic comedies, and not only is that only fiction, but something that was well behind me, replaced by comfortable predictability.

Or so I thought, until that magical day when I was caught completely off-guard. I can’t say that it was butterflies, it felt more like a herd elephants stampeding through me. Even though butterflies make for a far more romantic image, it definitely felt more like elephants. For a few seconds the background blurred, surroundings stood still and all noise faded out. I felt myself beam, being drawn closer to him. The energy, that chemistry people talk about, it became real. It wasn’t quite fireworks but it came damn close.

The next couple of days were filled with stolen glances, playful tickles and countless eye rolls. Yes, the eye rolls were mine. I still remember how his fingers felt intertwined with mine, and the shivers that were sent surging through my body when he brushed my hair out of my eyes. What I remember the most though, is the way he made me feel. Carefree; alive with a buzz of electricity coursing through every part of my body, beaming out of me like rays of sunshine breaking through the clouds.

It’s the kind of beginning that should lead to an enigmatic love story. One that you’d expect to breakthrough all kinds of boundaries. This however, is a different tale. Not one of a happy ending, not in your typical fairy-tale anyway. It’s a tale of growth, moving past previous hurts and discovering the magic of a connection with someone. The tale that marked my healing, celebrated passion and ignited a journey that may eventually lead to that enigmatic love story.

The lesson for me is to enjoy these moments, as the magical ones are worth keeping close even if they only last a little while.