Adventures In Dating: My Recent Experience
I recently had a great date with an amazing woman. Before I left my apartment to pick her up, I set an intention of approaching the evening from a place of love. Regardless of how things went I would operate from love instead of fear.
In dating, it’s easy to get attached to an outcome of how we think things should be going. From the very beginning of this date, things were different than how I might have expected.
For starters, when I picked her up, we didn’t hug. The first twenty seconds of our conversation was in her doorway before she invited me inside. I felt myself wanting to make a story about it in my head, but I promised myself that I wouldn’t make it weird. With that said, the awkwardness was averted.
The drive to our first destination was pleasant, but I was a bit distracted. I was trying to engage in the conversation, while also paying attention to my GPS. I wasn’t as familiar with the directions to completely ignore my navigation.
Once we reached our destination everything was lovely. We went to a location that was recommended by a friend and it did not disappoint. The entry to the venue was an art gallery that served as the gateway to a speakeasy. After being seated, we chatted and caught up with one another over drinks and truffle fries. It was fun.
When it came time for the bill things got slightly awkward when I insisted on paying. She was pretty adamant about splitting it down the middle. I made a comment about not having an ego about it, and right after I said it, I was hoping that I didn’t offend her. Luckily for me we quickly recovered and were off to the next location for dinner.
We decided to walk the mile in the cold to the next location. In retrospect, I was happy with the decision. It gave us time to talk more, and movement makes everything better. I quickly forgot about the bill splitting conversation. Our twenty-minute walk was through one of my favorite Denver neighborhoods, filled with great bars, restaurants, and breweries. We were able to partake in cool street art and comment on our favorite restaurants. We even talked about future restaurants to checkout together.
Next we went to dinner at one of my favorite locations. This fist come, first seated restaurant usually has a wait of no less than thirty minutes on Friday nights, but because it was a holiday weekend with many people out of town for Christmas, we were seated immediately and had rock star seating overlooking the kitchen.
During dinner we sat beside each other and enjoyed great conversation. This also included lots of subtle touching from the two of us. There were many instances where one of us would touch the other’s arm, thigh, or hand. We cleared the often-impregnable touch barrier. I was connected to her and the feeling felt mutual.
After dinner we opted to taking a Lyft ride back to the car. She had never taken a Lyft or Uber before. And her excitement to try it out was something I was honored facilitate. During the ride we set closer to one another while chatting up our driver. It was nice. I am so impressed by how charismatic she is. I absolutely love being around women who are engaging and know how to connect with others.
Our drive home was nothing special. We engaged in more meaningful conversation and reflected on her first Lyft experience.
As we pulled up to her place, I thought about what would be our first kiss, a special moment in any new courtship. As we set parked in front of her house, we exchanged small talk and then hugged each other goodnight. We shared a hug that was genuine and sincere. We fully embraced one another. When we released each other from the hug, I aligned my face with hers and leaned in slightly for the kiss, and asked her, “is this appropriate?” I didn’t want to force myself on her. She then looked away said that she wanted to take things slowly.
She hasn’t dated much. She is a single mother of three, and nine months prior she happily ended a marriage of ten years. So it’s understandable that she wants to take it slowly. She said she doesn’t mean to come off as a prude; and that she is probably going to want to take things slower than anyone else I’ve ever dated. To that, I replied that I am fine with taking things slowly, so long as we can continue seeing each other.
Dating is tough. You never know what the other person is truly thinking. All we can do is go off of the vibe we get, and use it as a guide. The only thing we can truly control is our actions and how we react to each situation. I will have to admit, I was a bit shocked that we didn’t share a kiss at the end of the date. At the same time, I also completely respect her wishes to take things slowly. I like her and am still interested in getting to know her. Now I find myself walking that delicate line of protecting my feelings while also still showing interest in a non-pushy or thirsty type of way. Only time will tell what happens next.