Beware The Charmer

If it seems too good to be true, it probably is

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I don’t do boredom well. It kind of makes me really uncomfortable. So I understand the appeal when a larger than life character enters one’s life — there can be almost an entrancement that distracts from the monotony of daily tasks and perhaps a sense of uncertainty about one’s own life direction at times.

Maybe you’ve come across this ‘type’ in your own life. It could have been a friend, a family member, a lover, a colleague or a boss. Suddenly you’re caught — mesmerized by the intellect, the apparent sensitivity, the witty humour or the impeccable style. In awe you may feel, swept up in the shine — almost like a child with a new toy, focused on gaining acceptance by this person who suddenly may represent the Mecca in your life.

Quickly, get a life. Straight to the point I know. But such adulation is going to take you no where more fast track than down a road of misery where you will wonder how on earth you projected such a fantasy on someone else whilst being fully awake and living your life (though this is not really living). This is the stuff of dreams, fantasies, distractions, avoidance — no one is this worthy of your attention. Other than yourself, and the genuine, healthy connections you have in your life.

Strong words I guess. But when you look at this ‘connection’ with this person you have perhaps begun to almost worship, is it a healthy one? Does it predominantly make you feel happy, alive, warm, challenged to be your best in a healthy way? Or is it sucking you dry, taking more energy from you than you can give without causing damage to your own life and loved ones? Is there a sense of an insidious force that is causing you to lose a sense of who you really are and that instead of feeling invigorated and blessed by the interactions around this person you are starting to wonder why on earth you are being so pathetically doormat-like?

As humans we are attracted to brightness in our world. But you really do need to turn away from staring directly at the sun as it will burn, it will cause damage. Take stock of the quality of your interactions with others. Chase boredom rather than an ideal or an idol as it’s where the answer will lie — where beneath that discomfort, which may bring you down to a sense of emptiness or loneliness, you will find what really makes for a healthy, balanced life. No false God’s for me — give me a load of washing anytime.

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