There’s a term for when two guys are at a party and interested in the same girl… and, that’s ‘one’ form of blocking that no one likes :-)
Yet, we tend to ‘cock-block’ ourselves every single day. As a society, we block ourselves from love, health, and multiple forms of success.
It might be because you saw someone who was better than you at something, at some point. That’s holding yourself to a level that no one can ‘ever’ be better than you at anything, at any point. Kind of ridiculous when you give it thought, isn’t it?!
The idea you have to be the best at anything (looks, loving, healthy living, etc.) is absurd; the idea you have to be the best right now is even more absurd. In fact, it’s kind of strange. We would never place such an intense expectation on another person, like a friend or family member. If they were learning how to break out of their shells at a party and start talking to people, we’d see progress with the smallest effort. We’d take notice, appreciate, and offer validation.
Now, think about what you’d do with yourself in the same circumstance. Imagine you have the goal to start talking to more people when you’re out in public, and you get invited to a party. The first 15 minutes go by and you’re feeling pretty shy. Instead of going up to people and introducing yourself, you sheepishly stand towards the corner of the room, out of everyone else’s way.
What does your internal dialogue sound like? What if the people at this party were also the key to you getting a raise or promotion at work? How would you feel in that situation? Would you feel more or less qualified for the raise than the outgoing person who’s shaking hands and making deals?
In most cases, we have learned to beat ourselves up when trying to improve performance. Yet by doing so, you are blocking your ability to improve. It’s possible you’ll improve in spite of yourself, but the odds are against you with this strategy.
The message you are communicating to yourself and the universe is: “I’m not enough”. So, think of this message as your wish. Instead of wishing you were outgoing and excited by making a decision these are your best qualities, you’ve wished for more shyness and further proof you’re not enough.
Strangely, we tend to think we are not enough. Talk about a weird concept. What kind of evil critic would have ever thought of one human being “worth” less than another human being? It could have only been our minds. Our minds find imperfection so they can avoid injury, learn and improve, and grow. Yet, there’s a downside; if we’re not careful about filtering messages and commanding our minds during strategic moments, our negative self-talk turns into a negative existence.
Today’s thought: am I blocking myself from anything at all right now? And if so, what can I change immediately to make progress and break the pattern?
Sent to you with love, compassion, and gratitude,
Originally published at drkareem.com on July 7, 2017.