Can you guess what will make it easier to get there?

To know ourselves truly, the good, the bad and the ugly and to be at home with it all, helps that sense of comfort and stability with ourselves that most of us long for. Yes there will always be a striving to achieve, to become better, kinder, smarter, more at peace — but the core of who we are as a separate one-of-a-kind human being, needs to be acknowledged and respected.

Will I ever become an astronaut? — sadly no. Will I ever became a great swimmer, tennis player, golfer or runner? Absolutely not. Am I comfortable with that knowledge? Yes I am, these days.

Once I learned to live my values — kindness, respect, to be heard — I realized I needed to live them for myself first.. so respecting what I could and couldn’t do and being kind about it to myself, was a great relief. I didn’t have to pretend to be something I’m intrinsically not.. whew!

Also looking at where I stand on the four basic human needs made a difference. Maybe it will for you also.

Certainty: How much stability do you really need in your life? I have found when working with clients in the clinic, as long as they are young, strong and healthy, that can fluctuate. The minute their health becomes compromised, that need for certainty heightens. Where are you on the need for certainty in your life — on a scale of 1–10?

Variety: How important are new challenges or adventure in your life. Are you a natural traveler who enjoy the vagaries of backpacking or going without a plan. This applies through life and through other countries. 1–10?

Significance: How important is it for you to feel important? To be acknowledged? To feel significant? If we are dependent on others point of view of us, that can turn us into martyrs or victims when we continually bend over backwards for approval. If we live our values with ourselves and then to others, there’ll be a rewarding balance of give and take. Where are you with your need for significance? 1- 10?

Connection: Most of us have the human need for connection. Relationships give our lives meaning, we see and feel ourselves through others, and there is an expectation of give and take that when missing leaves us feeling bereft and confused. This is why living our values allows us a strong and true self relationship allowing us to form more grounded realistic interaction with others. How well are your connections working? 1–10 This video may help.

So now… how does your skin feel? Comfortable? A bit saggy? A bit tight? If it still needs tweaking, maybe this will help. List your values — 5 or 6. And your priorities/goals for this year. Make a plan, using your values, how you will fulfill your priorities/goals and give yourself the gift of becoming truly who you are. And your skin will fit.

“til soon.

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