Did you know? Condoms come in different sizes.

Somethings are OK to just blurt out.


I have a handful of very close friends who help me parent my kids. We live miles apart but that doesn’t stop us from helping each other, sharing stories, bonding over our parenting triumphs and struggles. We don’t always agree but we are always compassionate and respectful.

The conversation topic was . . . anal sex. But that story is for another day. During the discussion a story emerged about condoms that I knew I wanted to share.

Parenting Technique #1

Blurting it out

She said “I just had to turn my back and blurted out — Condoms come in different sizes.”

This life long friend does motherhood so well. We are alike and different with enough overlap of compassion and respect, we learn a great deal from each other. (I guess I learn from her and I would hope she would learn from me.)

Parenting Technique #2

Trap them

I’m direct. Just in general — I’m a say what I mean, mean what I say, take no prisoners kind of girl. This has served me well in my career but not as a mom. My go-to move is often to trap them in the car and then spill.

Taking a kid to soccer practice or to the grocery store is great for a small issue! A 400 mile trip to the cabin is a great time to talk about a big issue. Or kayaking . . . I’ve had many heart to heart conversations on the water.

our real kayak trip

Parenting Technique #3

Distract them

My oldest kid lives and breaths soccer. I work outside as much as possible — our time outside overlaps quite often. I take this opportunity to say something like

Me: “Hey, did you know condoms come in different sizes?”

Him: What????!!!!???

Me: “Condoms come in different sizes.” “I’m glad we had this talk.”

Him: Yeah, me too.

Parenting Technique #4

Be available

Me: “Hey, you know you can talk to me about the most awkward things right?”

Them: “yes mom!”

Me: “I’m here for you, NO MATTER WHAT. I’ve got your back.”

Them: “yes mom!”

It may sound easy and simple but those little check ins remind them that I really am available for them. No matter what.

2:00 am check in

Even in the wee hours of the night when they come into my room . . . I’m already awake but they still whisper “Mom, can we talk?” I love being there when they need me. They tease me about my falling asleep right when they tell me their deepest darkest secrets. Honestly, sometimes I just think they need to say things out loud and it doesn’t matter if I’m awake or not.

Disclaimer: I approach parenting as my sacred “job”. An opportunity to see the soul and spirit of children, to teach them and be taught by them. Entering conversations and situations in a mindful way seeking first to understand and then to be understood. I write pugnaciously on issues that some parents shy away from.
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