Does Sex Feel Like a Chore?

Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash

Think back to a recent holiday. Valentine’s Day for example. For those of you in a relationship, how was your date night? Did you have sex for Valentine’s Day?

Valentine’s Day can be romantic…but not always. How did your date work out? Was the sex everything you hoped? If not, maybe your goals were unrealistic.

Most likely you sat in a crowded restaurant with other couples, and ate a rich, fattening, and overpriced meal. You drank too much wine. When you got home, you were tired because of the rich food and wine.

The lingerie was more obligatory than sexy because you felt bloated from all that rich food. But you felt pressure to have sex, because it was Valentine’s Day.

Eliminate the Pressure to Have Sex

A lot of sex dates can feel like that.

Planning sex can be awkward.

I like to suggest to couples that they have sex dates. I think a sex date is always a great idea.

But a date night can feel loaded with expectations. For a successful sex date, try not putting so much pressure on yourself. Ask yourselves the following questions:

What, when, where and how can we have the most pleasure on this day and night, regardless of the pressure to be romantic and sexy?

Your ideas may not include anything new. And that’s okay.

Differentiate your Date night and Sex Date Night

You don’t have to buy new lingerie or try new sex positions to have a great date night, whether it’s on Valentine’s Day or any other day. Have a date night one day a week; stay home, share a homemade meal in front of an old movie. Have a picnic on the living room floor.

That’s a different date night than your sex date. On Sex date night, try something that’s not necessarily about intercourse. Stay in bed and snuggle. Feed each other strawberries. Dance. Get naked.

What Helps You Feel Close to Each Other?

The point is to come up with ideas that help you feel connected, that take you out of the usual busy-ness of everyday life. You can create a sacred oasis in the midst of everything. And you can use this special space and time to focus completely on each other and the unique relationship you share.

What is your ideal date? Don’t put too much pressure on yourself or your partner to try anything new. Sometimes the same old things are the best things.

Let’s Stay Connected

I’ll share more tips and tricks for getting the sex you want and creating the relationship of your dreams if you connect with me. I want to share with you some special upcoming events, both in-person and virtual.

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