Embracing My People Pleasing Triggers
Being shamed online wasn’t a wake up call I was looking for.
Even though my intuition was strong, I knew I was out of integrity for months. Every time I was in this online group I felt off and manipulated that I didn’t like but I didn’t do anything about it.
As an entrepreneur, networking is essential as I build my business. Showing up and being visible in Facebook Groups, while not always easy or comfortable, is part of my growth plan.
I didn’t realize, until recently, that one Facebook Group in particular had gotten the better of me. I had put more focus on being liked and supported by the leader of the group than standing in my own integrity. When I saw unpleasant or unprofessional happenings with the group felt out of integrity or alignment I didn’t say anything. I didn’t leave because I wanted to be accepted into the in crowd. I wanted to continue to be liked and I wanted to have the success my friends were having being around these leaders.
I paid to play and I paid for it.
This past week, I was publicly bullied in a Facebook Group of 7,000 people by both its leaders. One leader posted contents of a private coaching call we had and left it on display for several hours. I was shamed for not buying into a program. I was shamed for having debt. I was told I just couldn’t see my money story.
I don’t buy into the belief system that supports bullying or shaming someone. Those characteristics don’t resemble leadership in any way and I certainly won’t join forces or purchase from a business owner who shames, bullies or breaches confidentiality.
I’m looking to be a leader that rises up and lifts everyone around me. I welcome the opportunity to meet soul-centered leaders who are so good at what they do everyone can see their true value.
Bullying as a sales tactic isn’t new in the online business world.
If you see it, stop and ask yourself these questions:
Why do they need to bully and shame anyone into buying?
Is investing in one more program necessary at this point in my business?
Is this coach in alignment and standing in integrity with who I desire to grow into?
There is always a lesson in these kinds of situations. Triggers can be our biggest teacher and create great awareness if we let them. When we are triggered, we have a physiological response. Our adrenalin starts pumping, our stomach turns, our heart rate goes up, our minds race to figure out what has happened and can get stuck in trying to figure it all out. Being triggered can cause our energy to collapse. It expands in the moment and then falls in on us., That’s why we may feel defeated or lost and unsure when we’re triggered.
When we are triggered by someone shaming us, it can bring up old wounds that haven’t been healed. If we choose to work with the trigger we can heal on a deep layer and next time we aren’t as triggered! If we choose to ignore the lesson then we never grow or heal and we’ll continue to be triggered by the same situation over and over again.
Being bullied on a sales call and harassed in a large public forum was an incredible trigger for me. It allowed me to see how much work I have to do around people pleasing and being liked. I was able to see just how strong my intuition is and how important it is to follow my intuitive hits to stay in alignment with my purpose and path.
To preserve through this situation, I choose to get back in my lane and focus on my path and mission I choose to send love, compassion and forgiveness to the women who shamed me. I choose to move forward and be the leader I know I am. I choose to claim my power and share it with the world.
When we are out of alignment with our core values we won’t be manifesting what we desire. We won’t be connected to source energy and be a clear channel to receive. We won’t be able to attract our dream clients because they can’t connect to our true core selves.
Triggers can be our biggest teachers if we let them and this was was a great teacher for me.