Embracing Uncertainty and Being Unreasonable
I started seeing someone new a few weeks ago and things have progressed so well that I made the choice to end it with all of the other women I’ve been dating. When you connect with someone in a way that moves you, it helps to remove other options from the equation to give yourself the opportunity to see where it goes.
My decision was pretty much me following my intuition about the possibilities I see for this relationship. I needed to test my assumptions. But to truly do that, I needed to mitigate distractions. And, depending on your schedule, dating can be a huge time commitment. So narrowing it down to one person was a bit of a value add for me.
Not surprising, though, I started getting in my head about it. You see making such a conscious choice without having a discussion about mutual feelings is a bit unreasonable.
This second-guessing led to me doing something more “reasonable” like choosing to keep my options open. Which resulted in me returning to bumble (dating app) to begin swiping on potential matches. I was allowing myself to be overwhelmed by uncertainty.
In my insecurity, I told I told myself that I shouldn’t allow myself to get hooked on this person. Cutting off other dating options without getting the same commitment from her in return didn’t make sense. My brain wanted me to be reasonable.
No doubt there should be a discussion about what we both see or want from the relationship. But for now, I want to enjoy getting to know someone without the distractions of getting to know other potential mates in the process. However unreasonable it may seem, it feels right to me.