Expectation can f**k off.
We live in a constant delivery cycle of expectation, expecting our days to unfold like origami, expecting people to be a certain way, act in conformist patterns, expecting our careers to define us and expecting ourselves, above all, to be better, stronger, fitter, kinder, more unique. I’m learning just how unrealistic our expectation of our identity in life is truly becoming.
It’s time to stop expecting and to it’s time to cherish the unexpected.
The best discovery as I grow into my soul is the art of gifting unexpectedly. Creating moments and happiness that become far more rewarding, life affirming, than expecting upon myself and others around me. It may sometimes take longer than I’d imagine but the effect that ripples through my life is an inner peace that brings calm to my chaos.
Quietly, I’ve been using my skills, month in and out, to give someone something in their lives. Content in a local paper, a website build that takes me days — would take the someone else weeks, if not months, to master. Poems and words that fall from my mind onto paper — describing how people I love make me feel, gifts drawn from creativity and skill.
I hate the word volunteering, because I’m not standing up to be counted, as wonderful as that is and how important that is in society, this is about sharing a part of myself with people who I feel have come into my life for a reason and giving them something built from passion and care.
In truth, it’s an unexpected result of slowing my life down, taking more care of myself and other humans in general and it’s a better life. Like Karma, my world is better for it because I’ve found unexpected beauty as a direct result.
It’s a rather simple study in how giving to others can enrich your life, it’s not rocket science but its stunning in how it manifests and I hate that it’s taken me this long to fully appreciate it.
I’m learning also to expect less of myself. I’m ok now, just the way I am. Quirky, different, sometimes fatter than other times, my hair is constantly unexpected but I find more beauty as I change with the world changing around me. By removing expectation I’m becoming the person I was always meant to be. That may not ever be good enough for others anymore and I’m damned ok with that.
I’m no longer a result of someone else’s expectation. I’m me. That in itself gives me the ability to reach my potential giving such a broader spectrum of possibility.
We all ask ourselves what our place is in this world. The very question holds expectation that we are due to be more than we already are. What if you are already enough? I’ll give you my passion, over and over, just don’t expect it of me, because it’s already yours.
I’m striving to expect less from the world. The unexpected is far more transformational. Some of the people who’ve had the biggest impact in my life never expected anything of me at all, they still don’t and for that, they’ll always walk with me, often silently.