Forgiveness Is Sometimes Much Easier Than Approval

Ever wanted to do something really bad and had rather beg for forgiveness than ask for permission? Been there, done that and bought the t-shirt.When I was a beautician in the Nashville Tennessee ares of Bentwood, I had a life changing experience and learned a great lesson.

In 2 weeks there was a very popular hairdresser for the stars offering a 2-hour free hair cutting class. I asked my boss, the owner of the salon I worked in If I could go and she flatly refused, even though I could learn something new and further my education and be a larger asset at her salon. I thought she was determining her decision on her “pull” and this was a power-play game for her to show she could deny me this privilege.I was hurt, outraged and felt betrayed. All these emotions came flooding in at one time.

Forgiveness or Approval?

After all, the hair show was just 2 weeks away . I got my ticket the same day she said no. I had been a leader in her salon for 9 years and seldom had sick days and would work my vacation days to help out for those who couldn’t work or if we had the extra business and I was needed. This left me some really bad feelings about all the hard work and dedication I’d given this lady only for her to be so rude and unjust and deny me the right to further my education a mere two hours only 15 minutes away. The nerve of her I said to myself, thinking she can not only work me but treat me as if I were lower than a maid.

The day of the show had come. It was at 2 pm. I got up, went to the salon at 8 am and worked until 1:30. I didn’t take lunch so that was only an hour and some change I had to worry about getting forgiveness for. I totally enjoyed myself and learned lots of new cuts, dimensions, and styles that day. I also got a great new job offer from a competitive salon only 3 miles down the road from where I had worked for what seemed like a lifetime. I was burned out, stressed and overworked. That opportunity seemed like a dream come true. I took the lady’s card and she’d offered me ten percent more plus tips and that is a lot more than what I was currently making. The offer enticed me.

I really came into work the next day with my defenses up. Full throttle I was ready to gather my tools and supplies and walk out. My boss came up to me and said “my sister seen you at the hair show yesterday”. I said I sure was and I had a great time and learned many new things we can utilize her in this salon. I was anxiously awaiting her response. She snapped and told me she had already told me not to go. At that point I sure wasn’t asking for forgiveness, I was walking out. I’d had enough. I quietly walked away, gathered up my things and put them in my car and then went into call all my clients and cancel my appointments. She watched through the corner of her eye my every move.

I went to the new salon and started working the very next day. I called all my dedicate clientele and I had all my business follow me and I didn’t have any slow days plus I’d got more clients at the new salon and a much-needed pay increase. It’s been 14 years and I am still at this salon I switched to. They appreciate me and never try to control me from seeking further education.

From all this, I’ve learned one thing. Do right by your job but there are a limit and a fine line. You work for them, they do not own you. And I still use to motto “it’s often better to ask for forgiveness than approval” in some situations.