My sister was right… at five years older, she always provided me the wisdom of what’s to come or expect about everything from social drama, puberty, work life, parenting, and friendships, and she gave it to me straight. I always laughed and told her she was flat out wrong — and then I discovered she was right, again.
For instance, a few weeks before my wedding day, she told me “look around you and all of the friends in your life. They won’t be around for long. Many of you will grow apart, your friends will change, you won’t have time for the maintenance, and then you’ll find yourself with only one or two really close friends who are a part of your everyday.” Naturally, I laughed and said that may have been her experience, but won’t be mine. And again, she was right. Damn.
Then I began to wonder if this evolution of friendship is more common than the exception. I’m starting to learn that perhaps I’m not alone in my experience. If you were a kid from the 80’s/90’s, you may just relate to a few of these stages…
Evolution of the “Pal”
Regardless of how much of an extrovert you were as a child, in the beginning, it was all about fitting in and being “liked” as a person. Figuring out your own rapidly evolving personality was a feat in itself, as you searched and ultimately discovered your main pal. This meant all-nighters on Nintendo, candy-binges, and sharing code-names for secret crushes. You were unbreakable, and your names were well-known among your school class like a brand. Your go-to person mutually depended on you and perhaps there was even the iconic BFF charm involved. Bam. Locked and sealed, friends for life (or until you eventually grow apart).
Growing the “Posse”
Eventually, you and your buddy branched out and changed up the dynamics with added friends to grow your brood. You now celebrated all the personalities involved and climbed out of your shell with your very own posse. This was cool. Sleepovers at each others’ houses, mischievous tricks on each other while you slept, and strutting down school halls like a standout crew. Walks around the mall and movie binges were your routine. You learned about life together and likely traded triangle- or square-shaped notes filled with jokes and gossip to make the school day less dull.
New Places and Changing Faces
College rolls around, and while your posse spreads out, you stay in touch for the highlights, but your “pal” and “posse” take new form. New friends, new beginnings, new buddies and go-to pals surround and evolve through the years. Over time, many of those faces fade and resurface in the form of “likes” on FaceBook as you follow their weddings, growing families, and professions.
Back to Square One
You’ve come full circle and now you’re at the beginning of the friendship scenario again, as you establish a profession, branch out on your own, and figure out who you are… this time as an adult and professional. This is an entirely new ballgame, and your main BFF is your spouse. Once kids enter the picture, you have less time for the already distanced “posse” — let’s face it, your posse are your kids now, and that BFF charm is your wedding ring.
Bring on the Wingman
However, this cycle is a bit different from the last because the next phase is somewhat new. While you may have endless acquaintances whom you connect, maybe even on a texting basis, from your neighbors to school parents to friends from your pre-kid lives, you seek another “pal” outside of your main crew. Oftentimes, the people who truly understand and empower us (without the catty competitive one-upping) are those who work with us and share the same day-to-day insanity that is the work/family balance. And if you’re truly lucky, you may even form a natural partnership and work together.
You share professional vision, your lifestyle is aligned, and you relate to the everyday crazy… you just “get” each other and it’s an instant connection. You celebrate your highs, high-five (through text) your professional “wins,” screenshot your glass of wine during an-end-of-day “losing it” moment, and keep each other sane even through your moments of insanity. This empowering pal is your “Wingman/Wingwoman” and even your family posse knows it too.
Sugar n’ Spice
Life… and LinkedIn… brought Holly into my world. We are the ying-yang and the ultimate powerhouse team. We keep each other moving at a pace I didn’t even realize we were capable, and we’re on fire! That’s how you know you’re in the right career — when your hours are blurred with life and you love what you do. Best of all, your Wingman/Wingwoman has your back no matter what. It’s the best. It just works and we bring out the best in each other, while pushing each other further in life.
Holly of Hollywood
Meet my Spice, Holly Davidson of www.iconnectyou.today.
“There is no manual when it comes to life. At an early age, I wanted to be a talk show host. I knew my talent was communicating, being up-front — what you see is what you get mentality. Through the years, I developed a harder shell, as I like to call it. Being a single mom at the age of 20, supporting the dads, managing music artists, late night meetings, and working with some of the top talent in the industry led me to knowing what I what I want in life. To succeed as an entrepreneur, it’s showtime every day. I think it’s important to work on the progression of self and spirit, as much as its important to work on work. At the end of the day, my business relationships have turned into families. We all have a common denominator — to feel good, to live a simple life, to create and be, and have joy,” explains Holly.
Cookin’ Up Something Extra
Beyond having a Spice Girl, it’s also wonderful to work with someone who lives such a vastly different life that brings out some of the best parts of you that got lost a bit along the way — throughout multiple pregnancies, gray hairs, and cellulite that stays nicely covered under my bathing suit skirt. This gal pal and colleague is bombshell Heather Marianna of BeautyKitchen, https://beautykitchen.net.
She’s a powerhouse celebrity entrepreneur with her organic, all-natural beauty line for kids and adults alike. Anything that includes a “cake batter” scent is an instant addiction, and I may have to order a few more for the kids too.
“When I started Beauty Kitchen 6 years ago, I never thought I would be where I am today. I did not prepare myself for this. Owning two manufacturing plants and private labeling for celebrities and spas wasn’t part of the plan. I learn something new every single day. My advice to anyone working hard is to keep going, stay in your lane, don’t compare yourself to others online (half of their lives are fake), and take time for yourself daily,” says Heather.
“I believe in the power of manifestation. Through aligning myself with strong women, such as Holly Davidson and Ruthi Davis, I have been able to connect with many other women who are as hardworking as me. It’s nice to be able to bounce ideas off smart women and work together as a team.”
— Heather Marianna, BeautyKitchen
“I know my strengths, and I know my weaknesses. I don’t try to work on my weaknesses because I just build a team with successful women like Ruthi and Heather whose strengths are my weaknesses. To be successful, you have to be willing to make mistakes. You have to be you, allow, be flexible, and know that hurricanes come to pass and never to stay.”
— Holly Davidson, iconnectyou.today
Surrounding yourself with a couple of phenomenal people, no matter if they’re your pal, BFF, Posse, Wingman/Wingwoman, or Sugar n’ Spice — just make sure to align yourself with individuals who empower you.
** Like, Share, and Tag your Wingman/Wingwoman in the comments section below for a chance to win your own Gift Basket of valuable products!
- * Make sure to also include #SuperflySupermom on any purchase of BeautyKitchen’s all-natural product line and loyalty Beauty Box at https://beautykitchen.net/SuperflySupermom for an extra 15% off your order!
Ruthi Davis is a global multimedia editor/writer, author, speaker, empowerment coach, business & brand strategist, consultant, founder of Superfly Supermom and SuperKids Chronicles, and frequent contributor for Thrive Global, The Huffington Post, PopSugar, SheKnows Media, BlogHer, Mogul Influencer, Fete Lifestyle magazine, Bonbon Break, Red Tricycle, Scary Mommy, the Mainstream Channel, and a panel expert for featured authors on Consumer Health Digest. She is also a consultant for strategic brand communications, publicist, and public relations representative for www.iconnectyou.today. Feel free to contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org.