When a holiday just isn’t enough, maybe it’s time to get help
I’ve return from a fabulous holiday in Majorca. I think we all feel better after holidays but sometimes they’re just not quite enough are they! How many times have you been on holiday and taken the first 3,4,5 days to recover and wind down from work, then you get a few days of peace and relaxation or fun in the middle before you start winding up to return again? It’s common. That’s why this week I’m bringing you a a case study from one of my clients who needed more than a holiday.
Everything is better. I sleep a lot better. I feel much more in control. Even though work has been manic I’m fine. I’ve been totally focussed on everything I had to do and I feel like I achieve every single day. It’s certain a very different mindset.
These are the words that Darren said to me after just 3 months of working with me.
When Darren came to me in June he’d just started a new job. Sounds quite normal you’d think, but the reality was that Darren had just taken 5 months off work. Well, to be clear, he’d had 5 months OUT of work. Totally unpaid.
Prior to this he’d been working in a company at a senior level. He could state that he’d doubled turnover, increasing profits. He was a high performer with great results. But he’d got to the point where he was
- always expected a negative reaction from people,
- worrying often about what people thought.
- being really pessimistic about things.
- often waking in the night worrying about minor things from the day or week.
- struggling to deal with people
- procrastinating about everyday things
The result was work just got so much harder, took longer and needed more effort.
“Sometimes I can withdraw from everything and have no energy at all. I don’t even want to or feel capable of simple conversations, let alone going out for a family day our or romantic meal with my wife”
In the end, he decided he needed a break. The reality is, this is burn-out.
When he came to work with me he’d had a break, got a new job and was feeling better about the prospect of work, but he was clear that he didn’t want to get into this situation again.
I feel anxious and thoughts about just walking out are crossing my mind
He knew he needed help and support to make the changes required.
Darren got clarity from the very first session. He realised he’d got into the habit of being grumpy and was now making an effort not to be that person. It didn’t take much he said. We looked at what he enjoyed doing and where he could easily fit small things in with a little bit of effort. He quickly found the benefits of a little interaction and activity gave hugely positive feelings in return.
Over the sessions we worked through those times when he was getting wound up, if old feelings from the past job were bothering him. We discussed lots of new tools and techniques to implement ones that really work for him.
He was able to communicate better, at work and home. Sometimes that was to calmly say what was bothering him or state what he needed without worrying about confrontations.
The old feelings of guilt or anxiety were not occurring. He said
“I found myself enjoying what’s happening right now, rather than worrying or having issues about going back to work. It’s been years since I could lose myself if what I’m doing”.
He was able to spend time playing with his young son. He admitted he previously found it boring and difficult to do this. He was even writing a couple of books. So that calmness and stillness in the brain enables the creativity to flow so much better.
I’m comfortable in my own skin. I now see my own value and I feel like I achieve every day. The stress barrier is no longer there.
If you feel you need more than a holiday then book a call with me and see how we can work together. If you want to be able to manage the pressure, grow your business and yet still switch off for family time or weekends.
This is also available to listen to on The Business Balance podcast.