How I cannot Say No

In this mean, selfish and self-centered world, there are still people like me, who still feel sorry to say no. No is just a two letter word, but difficult to say.

I wonder, do I really understand it? There are times when, in my mind, I practice the whole situation of saying no to the other person. But their after denial puppy face takes it all away

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It creates illusions and diversions that take me away from my basic ability of reasoning. The sympathy neuron hit some other chords, and the whole dilemma starts building the web inside me. The emotions get heightened for that moment of time. Yes, it happens.

In just 5 to 10 seconds of time, all the right qualities of the person flash before my eyes and my mind starts to question so many things. And even question myself.

“What if they need that dress?”

“What will happen if no one helps them financially?”

“Or does really he likes me?” and whatsoever the question be, the result is always positive( of course for the other person).

And then I say the pretty favorite word of mine-“YES”.

So there could be two possible scenarios - either the person would be quite genuine or not. And most of the times the latter happens.

She literally starts living in my closet and sometimes even wears my new dress before me. Either I do not get money back ever or I m just plain donating the whole month. Or I just went on the second lousy date with a silly person just because I didn't want to make him sad.

I regret the day I said them yes.

And the cycle repeats, on and on.

And people call me the one who is always there for others. Sweet, right? Yes, I am always there but unwillingly.

Or maybe the idea of hearing NO myself haunts me.The idea of someone denying me makes it like that.