How I Found Enlightenment from a Sacred Pause.

Give Yourself Permission to Be Still.

Have you ever felt like you just aren’t productive enough? Maybe you feel like you just don’t have the energy, the gumption or the fortitude to get everything done? Or maybe you just can’t quite maintain the level of activity that others do?

I’ve always had an internal struggle with myself because I need and prefer to have lots of down time. I need quiet and alone time without other people, noises or interference. During this time I am generally reading or journalling (or trying one more time to meditate).

This time is sacred to me. It feeds my soul and give me more happiness and contentment than anything else I do.

Even so, I am faced with this constant struggle. A struggle where I am torn by my need and desire to have time to read and be quiet, and my need to meet the expectation of being busy and productive.

• I feel weird because I prefer not to fill all my time with busy stuff. People are always encouraging me to do more: volunteer more in the community, visit with those who are lonely, or join a group of people who meet regularly. But the truth is, I don’t want to do those things. Especially because those things tend to take the place of my quiet time.
• I feel guilt because I choose not to fill all my time. There are women out there who manage kids, a husband and a career and all that those things entail. They are truly busy and they would give anything to be able to sleep in for an extra hour on the weekend. Something I do without thinking about it.
• I feel like I need to do MORE in order to make the money I want. After all, society tells us that “hustlers” win, “hard-work” pays off and we all should be following a strict productivity/time management guidelines — if we do, we will succeed!

So I struggle.

Would I be more successful in my business if I put down my book?

Do I have to join a group and meet regularly to form new business relationships?

Would I be making the money I desire to in my business if I weren’t so lazy?

That’s it. That is the crux of the matter right there. I feel like a lazy person.

• I don’t jump out of bed at 6 a.m. (or earlier) and start my day.
• I’d rather read by myself than volunteer or spend time where there is noise and chaos.
• I need more than 6 hours of sleep every night. Let’s be honest if I don’t get 8 or more I feel like a slug.

I recently attended a group coaching session where all the participants participated in a sacred pause. This was where the leader had us all sit quietly for 5 minutes. We were supposed to sit as still and quiet as possible. We were supposed to just be. Just. Be.

This was one of the most uncomfortable five minutes I’ve ever spent! Not just for me, but for the other participants in the program. It goes against the grain of all we have been taught and all we hear on a regular basis to just be.

Let’s face it, with smartphones and our ability for constant connectedness to email, social media, and texting there is a constant barrage of things demanding attention. Even if we don’t factor in the expectations for productivity, we live in a time where there is an ever-present way to keep our hands, our thoughts and our time filled with something besides quiet. There is no space for just being.

After the five minutes, the leader asked us a series of questions with productivity the theme. What kept coming up for me was that I felt like I was lazy because I wasn’t doing more, I wasn’t producing more and mostly because I was spending time reading. I was feeling like a failure and that I wouldn’t succeed because of these things.

It was painful and I found I was judging myself harshly and once again expecting myself to be something different than what I am. Because I was trying to fit someone else’s mold for me. That is what I thought I had walked away from in my 9–5 two years ago. I thought I had set myself free form feeling that pressure. But I hadn’t, and it cropped up in a new and different way.

What I took away from that session was that I need to give myself permission to just be me. I don’t have to meet someone else’s standard of productivity. I don’t have to be like anyone else or their business. I only have to be me. I can embrace my need for quiet and down time and it’s totally okay.

How about you? Are you trying meet someone else’s productivity level or expectations? Is that keeping you from taking time to just be? Do you need to give yourself permission? I’d love to hear your story in the comments below.

Sherry Parks is a Wellness Coach who helps career women escape feeling trapped and out of control in their work life, so that they are happy on their own terms and have joy and excitement for their life. Grab her Free PDF, Top Tips for Successful Food Cleansing, here.

To connect with Sherry, join her women-only Facebook group Lives in Balance.