Is Our Need for Validation Hurting Democracy?

Family gatherings are tough for one main reason. Picture this… someone throws out a controversial comment. Most of those present grab their drinks, make an excuse to leave the room and scurry off like interrupted ants. A small and brave group of folks might stay in the fight and decide to state their point, sometimes with tact, but often loudly and maybe even a bit aggressively.

Why is it so difficult to speak with people who disagree with us? And the more we’re opposed, the more we hate having those conversations.

All of us like to feel validated. We love when someone agrees with us and understands our point of view. We feel relatable and even intelligent.

We don’t feel like outsiders because we have an entourage of people backing us up. They’re standing by saying, “Hey, makes a lot of good sense. You’re awesome.” It’s like having our very own set of backup singers.

But when we throw out a point that opposes what the majority thinks, it can feel isolating. We might even question if our ideas are wrong.

And that’s why people remain quiet and that’s why silence allows the world to be a hateful place. It strips us of our democracy. This might seem extreme, but the reality is, if we’re keeping quiet in order to avoid conflict, we’re also looking past evils that need to be called out and shut down.

We’re saying that we know about the shitty things happening around us, but we don’t want to risk looking like asses, so we don’t say anything. Yet, speaking out is exactly what’s needed in order for change to happen.

There are many frustrated, hurt and disgusted Americans right now. Basic human freedoms are being lost and we’re wondering how in the world that could have happened. We thought we made significant progress. But as long as we keep quiet, it can all be unraveled and we’re seeing this happen at a rapid pace.

So reconsider and weigh what’s needed more. Is our desire to feel smart and included more important than a dangerous political climate?