Playing Your Own Game

How you may be getting lost in other people’s ‘games’.

Today I want to talk to you about Playing Your Own Game. When you’re creating your stuff, it occurred to me how important it is to remind both myself and you to keep your eyes on your own game.

As I move forward with my own creations and I’ve got a lot of creative juices flowing and a lot of things in the pipeline that I want to launch and get out into the world, I noticed how easily I get lost in other people’s games. I wondered if that’s perhaps something that you notice too?

I see it with my clients and I know that it’s so easy to get sidetracked by what everybody else is doing. That’s what I want to talk to you about it, to give you a little reminder to stay in your own space, to play your own game. 
It starts as inspiration when we are looking at other people’s stuff. This is especially relevant I think on social media where we can just be so drawn in to other people’s worlds. I was thinking recently, “I’ve got this little phone and it’s the gateway to the whole world and you could spend days looking at other people’s stuff and being in their world.”

Meanwhile, what happens is you’re just away from your own game. As I say, what starts as inspiration can quickly spin into something much less exciting.

That can look like a mountain of insecure thinking for you. If you run a thought pattern as many of us do of, “I’m not good enough. Other people do better stuff than me”, a lot of these insecure thoughts that especially, I think, people who are creating stuff can be very vulnerable to, then this is a perfect invitation for that to kick in. For all that “not good enough” thinking and all of that, “Oh, so-and-so is doing this and maybe I could do something like that.” can really spiral into self-defeating thoughts which in turn can create a really yucky feeling.

From there, before you know it, you started off all inspired to create your (in my case) new video series or you might be writing a book or you may just be running a marketing campaign, creating a new program or product and before you know it, without even doing anything, your mind has taken you out of the game. You close down. Your consciousness has really sunk and you can find yourself thinking thoughts like, “Well, what’s the point? So-and-so does it better. So-and-so’s already done it. So-and-so’s already said it. Who am I to do this?”

All of that stuff, it can be really, really toxic and look like you’re really self-sabotaging.

You can feel like you’ve been really busy but actually in reality you’ve been busy in other people’s games. You’ve been busy looking at what everyone else is doing and it may be disguised in your contributing, your interacting. All of that is good stuff.

I’m not saying, don’t be visible and don’t be networking and supporting people, but it has its place. If you find you start to see certain triggers for yourself, that your awareness is growing, you start to see when this is happening, then you’re better equipped to stay in your own game. By staying in your own game, that’s when you create the stuff that you want to create that only you can create, not so-and-so.

This is a call for creation really, a call for you to get your stuff out into the world and keep your eyes on the game, on your own game. Now, I’m not going to give you a prescription as such, but given that your thoughts do create your feelings and not the other way around (as I talk about in a lot of my work), it’s helpful to be awake to when this is occurring for you.

When you are finding yourself in someone else’s business or in someone else’s game and it’s no longer inspiring, you’ve started comparing yourself. You’ve started having these thoughts that you know are not bringing you…
You can start to notice that the feelings that follow them are not supporting you in moving forward in your own game. Then that might be time for you to close the browser or step away and just let your own mind quieten down. Get back to your own game. Stay in your own game. Be the leader of your life. Be the leader of your game, and remember that you can always play the game.

Whether you win or lose is irrelevant really because as long as you’re playing the game and you’re creating stuff and you’re having a go, then that’s where all beautiful things are created from. There’s a huge potential for success and joy in your life when you keep your eyes on your own game. I hope that’s been helpful for you today.

I hope that if you’re in the middle of creating something or you’ve got a new project or something that you just need to get out there in a bigger way that this will inspire you and just give you that little tap on the shoulder.

Rachel Henke is the author of Living Fearlessly. Download your free chapter at

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