How to Design the Life You Want
Learn to create fulfillment by accessing your infinite power of choice.
Life design translates into fully showing up as the powerful creator that you are, by taking ownership over your life. As life designer, you create the context to be your most powerful self in a mindful, kind and fulfilling way.
Listening to Tony Robbins, Gabby Bernstein, Danielle LaPorte, I instantly have an influx of confidence. Live life on your terms. Only hearing this brings tears to my eyes. This phrase summarises pretty much what many of us are looking for: having the audacious confidence that I can achieve everything I’m aiming for.
My weepy-self is tickled by two specific things. Firstly, when Abraham Hicks says “you are the creator of your reality” and I feel like a huge cube of ice is landing on my head, melting into my body, bringing clarity about what I choose to create. Secondly, I’m all about being celebrated for who I wholesomely am. I realised the importance of feeling valued when I heard Christie Marie Sheldon mentioning “wouldn’t it be great to be paid for who you are.”
With these two, I know I hit gold. Once you take responsibility for your life and ice it with ownership and accountability, you become unstoppable. You become the creator, the architect of your life. You reign over your life, thus becoming a life designer. Regardless of what shows up on your path, you realise that only you can create that what you want to experience. How to become a powerful life designer and contribute to the well-being of others? Here are my two ways:
I. Immerse into your Fully Responsible Self
You are a unity in multiplicity, depending on what you believe in. I see myself as a trinity: body, mind and soul. So as to be my most powerful life designer, I need to cater to each of these dimensions.
Your body is your visible self, it is the first layer through which you make yourself known to the world, it is the space suit in which you live. Through birth we inherit genetical characteristics from our family, but that does not mean we cannot hack that genetic programming. I believe in feeling healthy, strong and powerful in my body through choice. That does not mean holding myself to the societal norms of beauty. It simply means living in alignment with my values.
As yogi I committed to leading a conscious life. One of my fundamental principles is do no harm. My diet, what I wear, the types of products that I use for body care are a reflection of this. I take full responsibility for the blueprint I design in my body and in my community through my choices.
Want some tangible how-tos about body design? Opt for activities such as healthy eating, mindful consumption of ailments and products, yoga, exercising, walking in nature, swimming, dancing, choosing an empowering, straight body posture.
The mind is a scared space. It is the place where everything else emanates from. All that I experience in my life first took form as thought in the mind, as feeling in my heart and as vibration in my body. For me, the mind is the control centre and we are as happy as we choose to be.
I had mornings when I woke up and I could feel myself sliding into this swamp of sticky negativity and overwhelm. “What will I do next,” I’d fearfully ask myself. Listening to Danielle LaPorte’ Desire Map audio book, I understood and acted on what I had already experienced as insight. It’s not about what I need to do, it’s about how I want to feel. The desired feeling is the motor. I literally heard angels blowing in their trumpets when I made that distinction.
So, yes, as soon as I start feeling crappy at the idea that I don’t know how to go about a challenging feeling, I design this thought: “how do you want to feel”. And that alone, brings me back to clarity: I want to feel safe, joyous, trustful, loved and appreciated. And I can indeed recreate these feelings and anchor myself in them.
The soul doesn’t need much to honour its perfectly designed purpose; only peace. I imagine peace is what we are at our core, far from mind altering strategies, worries, beliefs that belittle the magnificent being that we are. I propose a very simple receipt for peace: choose to always be drawn to joy, trust and let go of everything that does not bring you joy.
Now that we peeked into how life design takes lead on an individual level, let’s see what else we can design.
II. Setting the Context
Context gathers everything that is not the self and it can be physical as well as intangible. An empowering context is on purpose designed to serve and support you. For example, if you go for a drive on a snowy day, you need to have the proper tires, don’t you. The same, when you vouch for transformation, or finding that job that brings you financial security and fulfilment.
How do you design the context? Firstly, take a look inside and see what beliefs you can develop so that you always feel supported. I keep a question on a piece of paper in my pocket for when I feel drained. It writes: “is there joy?” This is a reminder that wherever I am, whatever the situation, I can choose to go for joy.
Secondly, look at what in your environment could be adjusted so that you feel nourished. Just like a mango can’t grow in Antarctica, it might be difficult for you to develop positive thinking habits if you are surrounded by people with a grim view on life.
Same, if you sit in from of the computer, set to write that pitch, but the creativity fairy is quiet as a mouse, go make a tea, or go for a short walk outside, let your mind wander for five minutes, daydreaming about the life that makes your heart fuzzy. Put yourself in a good mood and set the context “I’ll get this done with ease and fun.”
An alternative is to set the context before starting to write a new blog post, by airing the room, creating a cozy space in front of the fire, enjoying a hot chocolate, putting distractions away and setting a time frame for getting the task done.
You know what your most empowering context is. For example, I appreciate getting up early, having the time for yoga and EFR before starting to work. It means that so as to be at my most productive, I need to design a lifestyle that best meets my needs. My personal favourite way of setting the context for a new day is investing the 5 first minutes in being grateful and asking myself “How can I serve today?”. Set a powerful and positive intention, such as I will be grateful for everything that comes my way today, upon waking up. I guarantee, you’ll see a shift in the way you experience your daily life in no time at all.
Naturally, these are all words and the final combat is in the moments when you feel most heightened, when you snap at someone, or feel anxiety sneaking up on you. Those are the most efficient times to practice purposeful life design. Remember: take responsibility in that very moment, when you notice yourself sliding in a behaviour that is not made through conscious choice, through design and is automatically triggered from a place of habit.
Julie Piatt @SriMatiMusic gracefully shared the mantra that puts me in my driver’s seat and reminds me I am the designer of my life. This mantra is “I am God. I am Sovereign. I am Free.” And so it is.
Image courtesy of Gratisography.