How to Meditate When Your Brain and Life Won’t Shut-Up
Six Steps a Busy Mompreneur Uses to Meditate in Her Six Ring Circus
In the past 2+ years, I have interviewed hundreds of guests for the Positive Productivity Podcast. By the end of the first year, I was tired of hearing, “I meditate.” as the response to, “How do you make time for self-care?”
Thinking I had to sit and quiet my mind, I often became frustrated. My brain refused to silence, and by the end of my meditation, I felt as out of control in my meditation as I did in my house.
Sitting at my desk, I often feel I am the ring-leader of a six ring circus…
On one side of the audience, my kids are spread out across two rings, a few fighting with each other in both. (I have five kids — moments when four out of five are engaged in squabbles isn’t rare). Sometimes you would think the ROKU remote is a juicy piece of steak the lions are fighting over, and it will disappear in seconds, devoured by the lucky one, if another child isn’t doesn’t get to pick what we watch next.
In ring three is my business, with clients doing all types of crazy-making activities. You may know the type… They’re knowledgeable enough to be dangerous, but that doesn’t mean they should become trapeze artists and attempt a triple flip on the wire.
Please, almighty circus gods, let none of our clients attempt to perform a mass purge or merge of their Infusionsoft contacts today. (I’ve had entire contact lists go poof as if the flame eater just got them with his fiery breath.)
And then there’s ring four, which contains just as many household animals as we have kids. Yes, we know how animals are created. Choice family members keep accidentally letting momma cat out of the house before she’s fixed.
Choice family member is not me.
Ring five is where my husband is, waiting for me to step in and help him. At the moment, he’s juggling his balls and mine (wow, that sounds bad), a combination of parent-chauffeur duties, bill paying, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, and more.
Somewhere in ring six is my imagination, putting on a light show which both awes and tries to hypnotize the audience. “Look at me and I’ll make you forget what you were focusing on. I have thirty other bright and shiny ideas for you to get distracted by.”
The ring-leader (me) feels lost. Spinning in circles, trying to figure out which ring to address first, I feel lost.
So, what do I do?
I do what any person in the middle of a circus would do. I sit down, get comfortable and meditate. “When Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy”, and when I don’t have control of the circus, all hell is going to break loose.
I know you may be wondering, “How the heck do you meditate in the middle of all that? Aren’t you supposed to have quiet?”
My friend, I gave up on quiet a year ago. Some parents dread being empty nesters, however, sixteen years in to my parenting journey with fifteen years to go (before the youngest (twins) move on), I say bring it on. We’re changing the locks the moment the twins move out.
The secret of my meditation practice isn’t quiet. It’s gut and gumption.
How to Meditate When Your Brain and Life Won’t Shut Up
STEP 1: GET COMFORTABLE.
Some days, I have the luxury of pulling out my yoga mat, however it is currently in hiding so three littles wouldn’t try to make cookie cutter shapes with the foam. So… I may find comfort in my desk chair, bed, or… on the bathroom floor. I go whereever *think* I can have five+ minutes without kids climbing all over me.
I’ve learned that my effective meditation practice doesn’t require me to be sitting in a proper posture, feet firmly planted on the floor and hands on my lap.
I’ll sit how I want to sit, thank you very much.
STEP 2: CLOSE EYES.
Yes, please, close your eyes, especially if you’re meditating in the middle of a mess. You don’t need to be reminded of your chores while you’re attempting to give yourself a moment of peace.
STEP 3: FOCUS ON HEART NOT HEAD.
I’ve listened to too many guided meditations where I’m told to clear my head of thoughts and guide myself to silence.
Give me a break.
Telling my brain to shut-up is like telling the ocean to stop having waves or the earth to stop circling the sun.
It’s just not going to happen.
But… I can listen to my heart. I can listen to my desires, my gratitude and my warmth. I can feel my love and the love I receive from others. I can listen to the life coursing through my body, and I can find the most peace I will ever have in my day.
STEP 4: BREATHE.
Breathing properly, I feel my stomach rise and contract with each breath. I focus on the blessedness of breath, and my gratitude for having the ability to breathe. (Ew, what the heck is that smell?! Did somebody leave a sandwich under my desk!?!?)
STEP 5: I AM.
In the midst of turbulent times in my past, I created an “I Am A-Z” list. For each letter of the alphabet, I have a complimentary word which describes me, ie. “I am Amazing. I am Blessed. I am Confident. I am Dedicated.” etc.
My “I Am” list serves as my affirmations, and, upon cycling through them several times, I feel peaceful while at the same time empowered and equipped for the circus on the other side of the tent.
Note: My “I Am” list has served me as well, not just during meditation. Unfortunately for husband and I, our kids turn into ferocious beasts when hungry, just like their momma. And some days, on the way home from daycare, the only way I maintain sanity during the six minute drive home (that feels like eternity), is to rehearse my I Am’s out loud, over and over.
STEP 6: EXIT WHEN READY AND ENJOY THE SHOW!
Jolting myself out of a meditative state negates the peace I just acquired. Did I just hear a crash in the next room? Why, yes. Yes I did. But maybe today somebody else will pick it up. Or… It will still be there in a few minutes when I’m finished here.
In any case, I leave meditation when I am ready.
Could this be considered selfish? Probably. But nobody will get best me unless I have time to revive the best me. So give me a freaking break already and let me finish meditating!
My friend, your life is meant to be enjoyed, craziness and all.
I’ve burnt more dinners than I can count, had kids puke in the middle of client calls, and my husband has walked naked into my office during video mastermind calls. But peace of mind has allowed me to laugh off even the hardest of times.
Listen to your body when your stressed, and learn how to meditate when your brain and life won’t shut up.
To learn more about the craziness I call my family and also about my business and podcast, visit my site at http://www.thekimsutton.com!
