How To Sell Without Feeling “Salesy”

So that your side hustle or struggling business will finally take off

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Do you hate, feel stuck or nervous about sales?

Do you feel really uncomfortable selling because you feel like you’re being pushy, icky, pressure-y or “salesy?”

Listen, I get it. You are a genuine, authentic person who cares about relationships and isn’t just going to spam everyone you know with an invitation to buy. You don’t want to be one of THOSE people, so to avoid being one of them, you actually don’t sell at all — or very rarely. At the very least, you know you’re not selling enough — or in the right way — to replace your income or ensure your business’ success.

Am I right?

Why You’re Not Selling

It’s likely that you are not selling enough to hit your income goals because your definition of “sales” is keeping you stuck.

Thoughts of sales conjure apparitions of the old school used car salesman, where selling means pressuring, manipulating, or pushing on the unwitting customer something they don’t want or need, and because you’re a person who cares and whose service or product makes a difference in the world, that approach feels sleazy and slimy.

But actually, what you’re selling is different! You have something to offer that could change peoples’ lives, right? You love it, you believe in it, it’s worked for you (and your clients or customers, if you have them).

But what happens when you have this internal conflict that sets you up to feel like if you sell, you’ll be like that used car salesman?

You stop yourself from making offers or following up, then you don’t make any money. Do this for too long, and then what happens if you don’t get clear about this? You don’t get to help any people, you have a revenue problem, you think something’s wrong with you or your service and then…you go out of business.

This may sound really obvious, but it’s worth emphasizing: You must sell to be in business. You MUST.

If you’re not open to learning how to sell in a way that feels good to you, you should not be in business, because the truth is, you’re not in business if you’re not making sales!

If you don’t want to sell, you don’t have a business; you have a hobby. And that’s ok if that’s what you want, but I think you want more than that, which is why you’re here, yes?

I’m here to help. I’m here to tell you that there is a way to sell that feels good and authentic and in no way pressured or stressful. Here’s what it boils down to: Sales starts as an inside job. This is where to go first. It’s not going to be fixed by applying an external strategy if your internal discomfort is high. People can feel if you’re not confident in your offer or avoiding trying to sell.

The first step toward confidently selling is to get aware of what has been going on, so that you re-write your story and beliefs around sales, and then move forward from an empowered, proactive place.

Who Do You Want to Be Like?

Let’s shift the focus from THOSE people who we’re avoiding being like (we all know those people), and study instead the ones who do sell in a way that is authentic and genuine and doesn’t feel “salesy” or pressured.

Ask yourself:

When you think about these question, who comes to mind? Who sells in a way that you admire? Consider specifically what you admire about the way they sell, and take notes.

Once you’ve identified someone who is selling in a way that you like, examine what you can adopt from them.

For example, if you like the way someone shows up and provides a lot of value for free, builds a relationship, and then offers something for sale, how can you do that, too?

Even though it can often feel like it, it doesn’t have to be one or the other! You can provide genuine, authentic value and make money at the same time.

Instead of focusing on who you don’t want to be, begin to sell like those who you love to buy from, and you now have positive traction to move forward, instead of staying stuck in avoidance and dread.

Stay Calm and Sell On

Still feel nervous? I understand, I really do.

Here’s how to help calm your nerves & increase your confidence around sales. You can start, right now, by making this shift in your mind:

I come from a place of SERVICE, not sales. I am showing up today to explore whether what I have to offer is the right fit to help this person/these people.

Again, this comes from focusing inward, and taking responsibility for what you can control — your approach, and your confidence, what you have to offer, and the service or transformation it provides.

After all, you can’t make someone buy from you, so stay in your lane and in your power.

Ask yourself, do you believe you have something to offer? Are you clear on what that is?

Start today by practicing talking about it in an authentic, genuine way!

Phone Phobia

If you’re freaked out by the idea of getting on a “sales call,” here’s a simple approach to take the pressure off you AND your potential client.

Think about that call like a date, not like you’re getting married. Have a conversation and get to know each other. Don’t go into it thinking, “Ahhhh, now I have to sell them.”

Reframe this and think about it, instead of as a sales conversation, as an open conversation. It’s like a date — you’re both checking each other out to see if you’re the right fit. This is how I run my Clarity Calls, where I connect with high-achievers about whether my coaching is right to help them grow their dream business. Then, you BOTH get to decide if you’re excited about working together (the equivalent to going on more dates, eventually becoming “an item,” etc.)

I had a conversation with a friend who runs his own business recently, and he asked me how I do it all, especially now that I have a busy toddler running around. The answer is simple: I only work with people I’m excited to support. He said, “I wish I could say the same!” (Hint: he can, if he’s willing to do the work.)

When you’re giving of yourself to your clients (mine get my full attention and energy), building a passion-filled business with limited time and resources, it’s so important to preserve your excitement and create an upward spiral where you get energy from working with your clients, rather than them draining you (because what’s the point of running your own business if that’s how you feel at the end of the day?).

So in your conversation, ask questions. Make it about them. Lean back. Show up fully, reflect what you hear, share how you can help them, and let it be their decision (because ultimately it is, anyway!).

With this approach, it’s less about trying to talk the other person into something, and instead it becomes a mutually beneficial discovery process.


Sales does NOT have to turn you into a cheesy used car salesman or that MLM friend you have on Facebook who annoys everyone by posting incessantly.

We all “sell” things to other people all the time, even when we don’t realize it: our favorite restaurants, TV shows, recipes, even our ideals and values.

The key is to get out of your own head about what selling in your business has to look like.

Take these steps to reframe some of your longstanding impressions of sales so that stay true to the authentic person that you are — who totally and completely loves what you have to sell — and sales will begin to happen with ease.

Next Steps

Ready for more strategies to sell with ease, get out of your own way, replace your income and build your dream business?

Download the first chapter of my #1 bestselling book, The Income Replacement Formula: 7 Simple Steps to Doing What You Love & Making 6 Figures From Anywhere, for FREE by clicking here.

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